What Once Was Lost
by cagiant246
Summary: Years ago Maura was ready to become a mother, until she wasn't. Now back in Boston, a chance encounter with a little girl at the park and a building relationship with her mother, Jane, will begin to unravel the truths she was told long before. And she just may recover what once was lost. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

This story is based off of the following OTP prompt: Person A was separated from their biological child. Several years later, they start dating Person B, and are delighted by B's adopted child. What A doesn't realize is that B's child is the child that A was separated from in the first place.

It's got a some definite homage to August Rush.

Just to be cautious, here's a warning: Although there is no actual death, this story does have moments where loss of an infant is brought up. If that is a sensitive subject matter, this story may not be for you.

* * *

"I like your shoes. Are they hard to walk in?"

The small voice barely registered. Her full concentration focused on the case she was trying to familiarize herself with, but something deep and knowing pulled at her and she looked up, instantly freezing.

Maura was certain time had only ever stopped three times. The first, when she discovered she was pregnant. The second, after she found out she wasn't going to be a mother. And the third, at that very moment as a little girl expectantly stood in front of her.

Her mind became a jumbled mess of thoughts and emotion. Every detail that struck her about the child she tried to rationalize, only added to her compounding disbelief and confusion. She blinked twice more to ensure she hadn't begun to hallucinate, but there the girl continued to stand.

Strawberry blonde hair fell in her face, as if it had been attempted to be tamed but resisted with every try. Wide and curious light green eyes speckled with bits of brown, just like the freckles sprinkled across her cheeks and nose. A grin that carried the perfect mix of cleverness, charm, and innocence.

Maura was looking at a small version of herself and her chest ached as thoughts of what could have been settled atop her heart.

It took everything in her to eke out a small shake of her head in response to the little girl's initial question.

"My name is Elle. That's what my ma and uncles call me, but some of my friends call me Ellie, so you could call me either of those. My actual name is Eleanor, Eleanor Grace, but no one ever calls me that unless I'm in trouble. What's your name?"

"Uh, my name?" Maura stammered, still somewhat in shock from moments earlier.

Elle nodded enthusiastically, climbing to sit next to her on the worn, wooden bench.

Maura cleared her throat in an attempt to gather herself. "My name is Maura."

"I've never met someone with that name."

Maura smiled, almost more of a grimace, as she glanced around the area for the adult this child belonged to. She wasn't good at this. Small talk. Human interaction. Not with adults and certainly not with children.

"Is that an actual dead person folder?"

She instantly snapped the file closed, not realizing how close Elle had gotten to her. It didn't initially register with her as to why a child would have any inkling what an autopsy report was, her anxiety over her current situation shadowing all other thoughts.

"Shouldn't you be in school given it is one o' clock in the afternoon?"

Elle gave a look like she had grown two heads while asking the question. "It's the middle of summer. I have a calendar at home, so I know I don't have school for another seven weeks."

"Well, do you have a parent or guardian accompanying you?" Maura asked. Her concern was growing, not only for the seemingly solo child, but for herself as well.

Elle nodded and turned her attention to the other side of the park. "My ma is getting us a pretzel."

Maura followed the direction of Elle's small outstretched arm. The bright red umbrella attached to the metal pushcart enough to keep her from having to search for long. But instead of reassurance, panic settled in further at the sight of only the vendor. No other adult in the vicinity.

She took a deep breath. She needed to settle herself. Give reminder that Elle was just a child. The first thing that came to mind were facts. The certain truth to them always served as the center she needed.

"Did you know that pretzel is derived from the word pretiola, which translates to little reward. And they should only be eaten as seldom rewards and not on a regular basis as the salt can induce excess water to accumulate within the blood, exerting increased stress upon the heart over a prolonged period of time. Although, I suppose if the two of you were to split it, then the adverse effects would be minimal."

She stopped herself from continuing any further. Years of experience had taught her there was a limit to her explanations that people could tolerate. So, it surprised her to find Elle listening intently to her every word.

"You said some really big words that I don't know. Do you talk like that because of your job?"

She recalled all that she had just said. There weren't any particularly obscure or difficult words she had used, but she supposed to a child some of them had probably sounded like a foreign language.

"Although the correlation between your question and the subject of our current discussion are unrelated, I suppose there is some overarching accuracy to it all," she replied. This time her answer caused Elle to scrunch her brow in confusion. "Yes, I use big words in my work."

"What do you do?"

"I'm a doctor," she answered, opting to keep the details to herself.

She noticed a look flash across Elle's face. Something close to understanding, as if she had put two pieces of a puzzle together. And then it was gone just as quick, child intrigue taking over.

"Cool! That's what I want to be when I'm grown up. I already asked my ma for a real anatomy book for my birthday. Have you saved anyone's life?"

Her response teetered back and forth. She had saved a life before, but that wasn't what her job was about. Rather she lived in the world of the dead. But the temporary uncertainty of her answer didn't last long.

"Eleanor Grace!"

Maura jumped at the shout. As she relaxed, goosebumps settled over the tops of her arms. There was rasp and warmth, concern and relief that filled the voice. Maura instantly wanted to know who it belonged to and to her surprise it wasn't because that meant she had found the person responsible for Elle, but rather due to a pull she couldn't explain. A natural draw she had always dismissed when others had attempted to explain it to her.

"Uh oh," Elle whispered. Maura briefly looked over to her before turning back in the direction the shout had originated.

"What have I told you about wandering off in a public place?"

Maura sat still, taken aback as she watched the woman kneel near the bench. There was a wildness to her. Untamed and thick hair. Wide and worried eyes. Long limbs that looked poised to wrap her daughter up and ward off anyone else.

"But I could still see you," Elle tried to reason.

The woman let her head fall, the idealistic and innocent logic enough to erase most of her panicked anger, before she looked up again.

"That isn't… but I couldn't see you and that is what's most important." She tucked a strand of Elle's hair behind her ear. "And you know that rule is only when your uncles or Nona are around. When there are more eyes that can watch you."

"Sorry Ma."

Maura continued to watch as the woman pressed a kiss to Elle's forehead.

"You're okay. It's okay. But don't wander off again, do you understand me?"

Elle nodded. It was only then that the woman seemed to fully recognize Maura's presence.

"Hi."

"Hello."

"Ma," Elle jumped in. "This is Maura. She's a doctor and knows lots of big words and has really pretty shoes. Maura this is my ma. Her name is Jane."

The introduction prompted Jane to stand and Maura followed. They both find themselves stunned. Not just by the other's appearance, but taken by the other. It's Jane that finally finds her voice first, clearing her throat before speaking.

"Thanks for keeping an eye on her."

Maura simply nods.

Jane gives a squeeze to Elle's shoulders. "Elle why don't you figure out who Maura's kid is and go play until Uncle Frankie gets here."

"Oh," Maura begins. It stops Elle's nodding and captures Jane's gaze. The words to come are hard to speak as they bring up unavoidable thoughts of what if. "I don't have any kids."

The response seems to stir up something protective in Jane. She pulls Elle a little closer and moves her arm in such a way that it tucks her blazer to the side and shows off a badge. It doesn't take any longer for Maura to realize how her answer could be interpreted.

"My work is just a few blocks away," she begins to explain, tilting her head in the direction of the precinct. "I was just trying to get acclimated to the area."

"There aren't any hospitals or clinics in that direction," Jane countered, her tone still skeptical. And Maura felt a shiver down her arms as Jane's eyes narrowed ever so slightly.

Excitedly, Elle jumped in with an answer. "That's because she's a dead person doctor. Like the one you work with Ma. Right, Maura?"

"That's correct."

Jane's eyes softened a bit and her body relaxed.

"You're an M.E.?"

Maura nodded and dropped her head for a moment, a blush creeping along her cheeks that for reasons unknown to her she didn't want the practical stranger to see. But when she looked back up, her cheeks flooded with color, Jane still intently observing her. Her eyes only snapped away when Elle lightly tugged at her sleeve.

"Can I go back to the jungle gym?"

"Of course."

With the permission, Elle raced the short distance to the play structure. As she watched Elle climb and chase, the heaviness Maura felt upon first seeing the little girl found its way back into her chest. This time weighing more than she thought possible.

"I hope she didn't bother you too much."

Maura turned back to Jane, giving a small shake of her head. Because while she had certainly been uncomfortable during their entire conversation, bother was the correct word. Their brief time together had been the most interesting thing that had happened to her in quite some time.

"She certainly asks a great deal of questions."

"Yeah, sorry about that. She's naturally curious about everything, and having a detective as a mom doesn't help."

"I don't bring it up as a bad thing," she began to explain, recalling the one time she'd said something similar to a father about his son only to be berated by the man due to a misinterpretation. "It's a natural part of childhood development, stimulating the growth and connections of the neural network necessary for understanding the world. She's very intelligent."

"Yeah," Jane softly agreed. They fell to an awkward silence, the kind that enters when two people are left to themselves once the common friend leaves. Jane wrung the back of her neck a couple of times. "Look, about before with flashing my badge and being suspicious of your intentions… it's just, I see so much bad stuff…" she took a deep, burden full breath as an unwanted flashes of crime scenes broke through.

"I understand."

"Right."

Of course she would know what she was talking about. As an M.E., she would be at all the crime scenes. She too witnessed all the horror people did to other people. And as morbid and unsettling as some may have found it, Jane was somehow comforted by the idea that someone else understood.

Another lull enters the space between them. This one only a few beats long. Just enough for them both to wish the other would say something to keep the conversation going for a few minutes longer. But before either of them can speak, Elle barreled into Jane's side, wrapping tightly around her arm and giving a couple of tugs.

"Ma!" she gasped, panting from the short sprint. "C'mon Uncle Frankie is here."

Jane can't help but chuckle at Elle's enthusiasm. "Alright, alright. I'll be there in a second," she answered, giving a gentle ruffle to her daughter's already unruly hair with her free hand.

Maura's throat tightened, finding herself not breathing for a moment, as Elle beamed a gigantic grin at her. "Bye Maura!"

Before she can reply, she's already raced across the park to where Maura can see a tall, dark haired man that is instantly recognizable as Jane's brother, scoop her up and give a single twirl before setting her down.

"I should really join them before my lunch ends." Jane's words pulled her back and they find each other's gaze again.

"Right. Of course."

"It was nice meeting you Maura. I'll see you around work."

"Nice to meet you as well, Jane." She managed to stumble out.

Jane tossed a half smile, a soft tug on the left side of her lips that Maura can't help but mimic, before she turned away.

A warmth radiated through her, causing her to feel flush. For the first time she can remember, she is comfortable. Home. Only in a way she's never experienced before. It's good and simple and made her feel whole.

And as she watched Jane walk over to Elle, it only grew within her and she hoped above anything else she could keep a hold of it. Because she's only ever felt that way once before, years and years ago, and that time she lost it.

* * *

I write to escape and I'm truly enjoying working through this story. Just, thought I'd see if anyone else was interested in following along?


	2. Chapter 2

The cursor hovered over the colorful "checkout" button. It had been for minutes, her hand resting on the mouse as she stared blankly at the computer screen. Thoughts of her last, her only, conversation with Jane plagued her. Leaving her bothered to the point where not even a cart of expensive shoes could serve as the escape she normally resorted to.

She practically had their entire exchange memorized. Every word and sentence analyzed to try and determine what she had done wrong. Because she certainly must have done something socially unacceptable to alienate the other woman. How many times had she done so in the past? She had lost count and honestly had never cared. But this was different. Jane was different. And this time it hurt.

How had her inherent awkwardness managed to push someone away so quickly? A five minute conversation was a record even for her. And how had she done so without even faintly recognizing it? Usually she could identify moments when she had missed a social cue or flooded the conversation with information on one asked for. But she could honestly conclude that this single time none of that occurred.

And so she sat there, frustration with herself continuing to build until it overwhelmed every sense. It consumed her entirely for a moment, bottling up within her and increasing in pressure until she was certain she might explode. With a deep sigh she quickly exited the browser, shoes still unpurchased in the cart. They weren't going to help no matter how much she wished they would.

She closed the laptop with more force than necessary, and for a brief moment the weight of her thoughts disappeared. Physical stimulation resulting in increased endorphin production she concluded. The relief was gone just as quick as it had kicked in, leaving a heaviness over her entire body.

Maura leaned back in her chair, head set against the headrest, and shut her eyes, trying to focus on her breaths. Meditation typically worked, and though she was quickly realizing this time was anything but typical for her, she could hope. Wish. Pray that it would help.

Lost in those thoughts, the knock at the door startled her, heart pounding like it usually did when she was caught off guard. But it only beat harder when she saw the person standing in her doorway. Jane.

"Jane…," she managed.

"Hey." Jane replied, remaining rooted in the entry. There was a tenseness in her voice, that with a quick evaluation of her body language, Maura attributed to uncertainty. She too found herself suddenly battling against a nervousness that came with Jane's presence.

"Come in, please."

Jane nodded and took a few steps into her office. "It's nice to hear that you still remember who I am."

Words sprang to the tip of her tongue. How she could never forget her. But she swallowed them back and offered a silent smile instead, hoping it would convey what remained unspoken.

"Sorry I took so long to get down here," Jane filled in. "I figured you would want some time to get situated. And then we got a case with Pike, hopefully the last, and well…" she trailed off.

And as much as Maura wanted to speak, she couldn't find any words. 171,476 words in the English language and she couldn't find a single one.

"Looks like you've settled in nicely. I must say I like your décor." Jane moved up in front of the African tribal mask she had hung on the far wall. And Maura couldn't help the idiomatic expression that occurred in her gut. Butterflies in her stomach she corrected, as she watched Jane tilt her head to look at the mask more closely.

"I worked for doctors without borders for a brief period before realizing I was better suited as a medical examiner," she explained, finally finding her voice. "The tribe I cared for most closely gave that as a departing gift."

"It's beautiful. Does it have any meaning?"

"It's meant to strengthen family."

Jane turned, a gentle smile upon her face. One Maura found herself hoping she would see a hundred times over.

"Nice of them to welcome them into their own after all I'm sure you did for them."

"Oh, no. Not quite," she corrected. "It's meant to help guide you to finding your family, or solidify the family unit. Though in my case the former is more appropriate."

"And? Has it worked?"

"I'm still waiting."

"Well, it'll happen. I'm sure of it."

Her office suddenly felt warmer, an energy emanating off of the both of them. One that left the small space overflowing with the same charge that had ricocheted between them days earlier in the park. It's accompanied by a short quiet.

Jane placed her hand on the back of her neck, wringing it a few times over. Nerves Maura concluded, the observation settling her. The idea that the other woman was just as nervous as she. That perhaps they are both experiencing the indescribable feeling that coursed through her entire body.

"Uh," Jane started. "So, I actually came down here because Elle, my daughter… we're going to lunch and she was asking all morning if you'd be interested in joining us."

Caught off guard, Maura remained silent at Jane's pause, and so she continued.

"If you're busy or don't want to, I'd understand. I can…"

"No," she interjected sharply, her brain having finally caught up to the conversation. "I would love to."

"You're sure? Because you're not under any obligation."

"Really, Jane. Lunch with the both of you sounds wonderful."

Her answer brings a gentle easiness. The kind that came when two people were close. Entirely comfortable with one another. Or so Maura assumed. She had never made a connection like the one building between her and Jane. They were practically strangers and yet they weren't.

"Great. We will meet you upstairs in five?"

"Perfect."

Jane disappeared back down the hall and so did all of Maura's uncertainties from earlier, leaving her with a joyfulness she was certain every pair of should could never compare to.

Lunch was an experience. A simple chaos that Jane managed with mastered precision. Cutting of sandwich crusts. Swapping of sides. And a few saves of nearly spilled drinks. The conversation was filled mostly with non-sensical stories and the random ramblings of a seven year old.

And as the event wound down, Elle shifted the conversation to Maura.

"Maura, where do you live?"

"Beacon Hill."

Elle's eyes widened in surprise. A moment of disbelief before she nodded a couple of times, seemingly having come to her own personal understanding.

"I guess that makes sense since you're a doctor."

Maura frowned, and a quick look to Jane made it known that her confusion was shared.

"I'm afraid I don't see the connection."

"Don't doctors make a lot of money? Ma says only fancy-pancy people live in Beacon Hill. So, you could live there because you're a doctor."

Jane, mid-bite with a handful of potato chips, had been helpless to stop the comment, her cheeks turning a deep red. Slightly shocked by Elle's straightforwardness, but overall agreeing with the concept of her statement, Maura nodded once and offered a polite smile. With a large swallow, one that she was surprised didn't cause her to choke, Jane leaned over to speak with Elle. Her voice hushed but still loud enough that Maura could hear across the small table.

"Hey, I thought we promised to never say that to anyone else," she said, recalling the time she had let the statement slip out in front of her and the days that followed in which Elle had repeated it over and over.

Elle sat there quiet and perplexed for a moment. Her head tilted, highlighting her confusion.

"But I didn't say it to another person. I told Maura and that's different because Maura's a part of us now, right?"

The innocent thoughtfulness of the comment left Jane speechless. She pressed a quick kiss to the side of Elle's head before straightening up and glancing back across the table. Maura had an expression of what Jane could only think of as muted joy. Widened eyes, brightened face, but with an overshadowed cautiousness. As if she couldn't fully accept that Elle had said and actually meant those words.

But it didn't take a moment for Jane to realize Elle was right. Maura was different. Special. She was the first person in a long while that she wanted to extend their family to. Like Elle had said, someone she wanted to make a part of their exclusive group. The first person she would consider to make them grow from two to three.

The idea sent a shiver down her spine. One mixed with hope and fear. How had she gotten to this point so quickly?

"Ma?"

Jane broke her eyes away from Maura. "Hmm?"

"You're staring."

For the second time in the matter of a minute, her face flushed a deep red. Desperate to relieve the attention settled upon herself, she returned the conversation back to Maura.

"So, Beacon Hill?"

Maura smirked for a moment before answering, just enough that Jane knew Maura was fully aware of her attempt to prevent anymore of her own humiliation.

"Yes. It is the same area I would visit when my parents resided in the city. So, it felt comfortable."

"You lived here before?" Elle asked, surprised by the idea.

"I did, yes. I spent some summers in Boston when I was on break from school in Europe. And I attended college here. I only moved away about seven years ago."

"Why did you leave?"

She realized a look must have crossed her face as the answer came to mind, because Jane interrupted before she had to reply. And for it she was incredibly grateful.

"Hey Miss Detective, why don't we lay off the interrogation of a bit, huh?"

Elle nodded and took a sip of her chocolate milk, the straw making an unpleasant grating sound as she tried to get the very last drop. Jane pushed the glass away from her to stop from disturbing the customers at a nearby table.

"Can I say one more thing?" she asked,

Jane's face became wary. She knew her daughter and it could be anything. A quick look over to Maura silently asked if it would be alright. And for all the worry that flooded her at Elle's question, it was overtaken by the warmth that came with Jane's consideration for her feelings. She gave a small nod and Jane grinned back.

"Alright, one thing."

Elle beamed a smile to Maura.

"I'm glad you came back."

"I am too," she replied with an equally joyful grin. "Although I do wish the moving process was less of an inconvenience."

"Still unpacking?" Jane asked, recalling when they had moved into their little three bedroom house 4 years before.

"A little. I decided to forgo hiring an interior decorator, so it is more just determining the proper positioning and arrangement for everything."

"We could help you!" Elle exclaimed.

"That's kind of you sweetheart, but I'm sure Maura has a process for it all…"

"Actually," she interrupted. "If you wouldn't mind I believe some assistance would be beneficial."

Not waiting for Jane to agree, Elle blurted out her excitement. "Yay! We get to go to Maura's house!"

The two women caught eyes. Maura amused. Jane apologetic. But there was so much more that both of them realize never needs to be spoken. Something between them they can both see is building fast and making them fall even harder than they could imagine.

"Can we get dessert?"

Jane laughed, breaking eye contact with Maura, and softly tousled Elle's hair. Her child was a bottomless pit. A bottomless pit with no apparent filter that was acting like a professional wingman.

"Sure. Maura, dessert?"

"That sounds lovely."

And as Elle went off to list her favorite cakes and cookies and everything in between, Maura couldn't believe that anything was as sweet as her life just then.

* * *

Their arrival at Maura's the following Saturday is filled with the chaos that normally came with an overexcited seven year old. Lots of wrangling and reminders not to touch anything and joyful greetings shared across them. But there was also a soothing comfort. One that Jane quickly realized came, in part, from Maura's simple offer of juice boxes and goldfish crackers, items she had no doubt were purchased just for Elle.

And she was touched further to find that Maura set aside a box of, perhaps not childproof, but unbreakable belongings, for Elle to unpack. No doubt in her mind that the woman had gone through the trouble of unpacking and repacking to ensure Elle felt useful over the afternoon.

It took a few minutes to get Elle situated in the living room, but when they stepped into the kitchen for coffee, she was lost to the rest of the world. Her focus completely on unpacking and flipping through all the anatomy books Maura had compiled in her box. And Jane couldn't help the deep, warm buzz she felt at watching her excitement.

"Thanks for that." She gave a quick nod to the other room.

Maura's mouth curled into a polite smile as she glanced to the living room and back.

"A recent study showed that allowing children to engage in activities they perceive as adult in nature reinforces their sense of responsibility and respect for others property. Both of which are critical for development into well-mannered adolescents and eventually adults. I though a box of her own would serve to amplify her already well matured understanding of those concepts."

"And it had nothing to do with making sure all of your valuable belongings stayed in on piece?"

"That too," she agreed.

Jane couldn't help how easily she was captured by the lightness of Maura just then. The glow that radiated from her smile. The soft shimmer within her eyes. And she didn't realize she was staring until she was caught.

"What?" Maura questioned.

"You look amazing." The words stumbled out, leaving her startled and choking. She quickly cleared her throat. "I mean considering we're just unpacking boxes, you look amazing."

"Well, thank you."

"So, uh, is this getting hung up somewhere?" she asked, moving over to a large painting leaning against the wall.

"I believe it would be best suited for the office."

Jane nodded and followed her down the hall. It took only a few minutes for them to get it up, Maura wishing the entire time it could somehow last longer. Because at certain points they were so close to touching. At times she caught Jane holding her breath and she herself trying to come up with a valid reason for her fingers to graze across the tops of Jane's. All the while her mind continuously drifting back to the comment from the kitchen. The simple, genuine compliment. Amazing.

Reluctantly she took a step back once the piece was on the wall. Jane mimicked, both of them admiring their work. Maura glanced over to find Jane attempting to analyze the painting. Brows slightly furrowed, head tipped to the side. She looked at it only a little while more, the feeling of eyes upon her pulling her focus to Maura. Their grins instantaneous.

Jane gestured to the art.

"It's… interesting." Her words come out forced. Almost pained.

Maura knew it was for her benefit. As to not hurt her feelings. And that meant more to her than the art ever would.

"That's very kind. Too kind in fact," she started, not missing the mild surprise that appeared on Jane's face. "It was a gift from my mother. And well, I feel obligated to hang it up. She would expect it if ever she were to visit."

It was the first mention of Maura's family and Jane could already tell it was a sensitive topic.

"What does she do?" she followed, hoping the question was surface level enough that it didn't sound like she was prying.

"She's an art curator for galleries across Europe."

"Wow. The only art my mother ever curated were projects my brothers and I made at school that got hung up on the fridge."

Maura hid the sad smile that flashed to her face, ensuring it was gone just as quick. Because while she could see Jane's words were meant to be light hearted and joking, it also sounded entirely lovely. An act she assumed was tradition in their family and one she wished she could have experienced.

But the somberness dissipated an instant later as Jane scratched lightly at her cheek, unknowingly leaving a dusting of white residue against her skin.

Maura chuckled softly.

"What?"

"You've got some drywall across your cheek."

She indicated the area on her own cheek but Jane's own swipe only smudged it more.

"I can…" she started, hesitantly reaching out and pausing as she neared Jane's face.

With a single nod, Maura brushed her thumb across her cheek. A couple of times to wipe away the dust. A couple of times more because she is suddenly addicted to the touch. Her entire hand feels like it was set ablaze and she didn't want it to end. It was only when Jane involuntarily shivers that she broke the contact between them.

"Thanks," Jane rasps.

Maura gave a calm smile. Anything to mask the summersaults occurring in her stomach. She's grateful the blush that started to creep across her cheeks doesn't get much further.

"Ma!" Elle screeched in panic, running into the office and grasping at Jane's hand.

"What's wrong?" Jane's mind started to race and all she could come up with was that something expensive and irreplaceable was now broken into a million little pieces.

"There's a big scary turtle in the kitchen."

Jane turned to Maura, certain she must have misheard.

"Oh, that's just Bass," Maura filled in. "I apologize for not mentioning him before. He usually keeps hidden if I ever have company."

Jane's mouth opened and closed a couple of times.

"Wait, so you actually have a scary giant turtle as a pet?"

"He's actually an African spurred tortoise." She turned to Elle. "And I promise he isn't scary."

Elle gave a wary unconvinced look, still stuck to Jane's side.

"Here let me show you."

She extended her hand and after a brief hesitation, Elle reached out and took it. Maura was flooded as little fingers wrapped around her hand tight. How close she had been to having similar moments over the course of the past seven years. And she isn't sure why, but with Elle it just felt right. As if it were something they were always meant to do.

The two of them sat on the kitchen floor with strawberries and lettuce leaves. Maura was surprised when he actually ate the offered food, he was typically cold to strangers. And Elle was delighted.

"How long have you had him?"

"Since he was a tiny hatchling only a few days old."

Elle gently ran her fingers over the back of his shell, winding along the ridges.

"He's like me."

Maura's eyes narrowed in confusion, trying to understand.

"How is that?"

"We both didn't find our families until after we were born. When we were little and only a couple of days old."

She blinks a few times stunned as Elle's words settled in.

"Oh, I suppose I didn't realize…" she trailed off, not certain what her next words were meant to say. The observations she made over their last two meetings only then clicking into place. Why Elle had so many recessive features against Jane's dominant ones.

Bass made a giant shift towards Elle and she placed more lettuce in front of him. He grabbed for the leafy green and she gave him a couple of pats to his shell.

"I think he likes knowing someone else like him."

Maura smiled weakly.

"I think so too." She didn't explain that he already does.

As Maura continued to watch Elle, Jane watched Maura. There was confusion and understanding, but the rest she couldn't seem to put her finger on. It was as if she had suddenly become lost for a moment. It reminds her of the questions at lunch and Maura's tone when she spoke of her mother, and she gathered that perhaps her past had not been kind. But she couldn't be certain, she knew so little of the woman.

And it so it surprised her to find her anger creeping up along the back of her throat. She choked it back, clearing her throat, and squatted down to Elle's level.

"Hey monster. How about we clean up and get out of Maura's way? I think we've created enough of a mess for one day."

She nodded in agreement. "But I didn't make a mess. Promise. Come look."

Maura caught Jane's knowing glance and once they are back in the living room she understood why. Elle had managed to shove all the books from the box into the small spaces left in the built in bookcase. Leaving it looking like a bad attempt at book Tetris. But neither of them could help but grin at how proud she looked with herself.

"I couldn't get them all to fit so I had to lay some of them on their sides."

"We can see that. Elle, why don't you grab those few and bring them back…"

"No," Maura interrupted. "It's fine Jane. It looks perfect. I think it is exactly what this room needed."

Elle's smile grew to fill her whole face. And Maura knew then that she would do just about anything to see that cheeky grin a million times over.

With much reluctance, and a promise from Maura that she come to their house for dinner, Jane managed to get Elle out the door. Their departure brought with it the first sliver of silence since early that morning. And though she normally welcomed the quiet, this time it felt different. It felt loud and deafening and she wished for anything that would silence the quiet.

Her wish was granted far sooner than she ever anticipated. A quick walk into the kitchen caused her heart to jump in her throat. Taped to her refrigerator was a sheet of the stationary she left out on the kitchen counter. The sheet scribbled with black ballpoint pen. There is no rhyme or reason to the intertwined lines that wandered the entire page.

Her mother would have described it as abstract. It irked her that the idea snuck its way to the front of her mind. She had never held much interest in the art scene, at least not as much as her mother would have like.

But that didn't matter right then.

Because she had become a curator of refrigerator art. And she couldn't wait to acquire more pieces.


	3. Chapter 3

7 Years Earlier

Braxton hicks. She raced with Lydia to the hospital on her day off for freaking Braxton hicks. Tommy was lucky she loved him so much, otherwise she would have ditched Lydia after her third trip to the restroom as they waited for him to come pick her up. Jane had offered to drive her back, but he had insisted he was only a few minutes away. She had forgotten that usually meant half an hour in "Tommy Time".

That was how she had ended up in a generally quiet hall of the hospital. She was grateful she had at least the foresight to bring something to read. _A Guide for First Time Parents: From Diapers to Driving and Everything In Between_. She only managed a few pages before she was interrupted.

"Are congratulations in order?"

Jane looked up, briefly stuck in the uncertainty that comes when you aren't sure if someone is speaking to you.

"Excuse me?"

The woman pointed to the book in her hands. "Congratulations?"

"Oh, no," she replied, snapping it shut. "False alarm. Well, not for me, for my brother and his fiancée. I'm just reading this because…" She stopped herself, realizing she was giving more information than necessary. "And you really don't care about that, do you?"

"No, please," the older woman assured, slipping into the empty chair next to Jane. "If you wouldn't mind, it might take my mind off of things."

The request surprised her. The woman didn't give off the impression she would be interested in anyone but those of a much higher social standing than herself. A combination of her stern face, proper British accent, and stiff tweed blazer was all Jane needed to draw the conclusion. But she agreed nevertheless.

"Yeah, sure. I'm trying to adopt. With my partner," she corrected. "We're trying to adopt. We filled out some applications a few months ago, so, now we're waiting. And I just figured I'd try to get a head start on the whole parenting thing."

A shiver ran down her spine at the glint that appeared in the woman's eyes as she finished speaking. A flicker of cold and a shimmer of plotting. But then it was gone and Jane figured it must have been a trick of the fluorescent lights.

"Adoption, quite noble of you."

Jane's mouth curled into a tense smile, uncertain of exactly how to reply. That wasn't how she viewed it. Not in the slightest. Her silence prompted the woman to continue.

"My daughter was adopted. It is quite rewarding."

She got the impression that the comment was made to serve as some sort of bond between them. Like how the statement before was meant as a compliment. But she also couldn't shake the nagging feeling that there was an ulterior motive to the woman's words and their building conversation.

And again, she wasn't entirely sure what the woman expected her to say, but piercing eyes waited for her to respond.

"Any advice you could offer me that probably isn't in this book?"

The woman sat up a little straighter. "Children always think they know best. It doesn't matter their age, they think they are capable of making the right choices for their lives. But they don't know best. You will though. And there will be times when you will have to do whatever it takes to ensure they don't toss away their future."

"Um, thanks. I'm sure I won't find that in here." She tapped the book a couple of times.

Her words were meant jokingly. Meant to lighten up the seriousness of the tone that came with the woman's advice. But either she didn't realize it or didn't care, her stern expression remained unchanged against Jane's smile.

"Certainly."

Jane tensed as the woman looked her over with a stare that scrutinized and judged. And she couldn't help but feel as if the woman were finalizing a decision made of her.

"I'm afraid I didn't catch your name."

"Jane," she managed, clearing her throat. "Jane Rizzoli."

"I quite like you Jane." Jane's lips pulled tight in a strained smile. If this was the way the woman showed she liked someone, she could only imagine how chilly she could be to someone she disliked. "You know, over the years I have amassed a number of highly respected contacts, including those in a number of private adoption agencies. Let me make a few calls and see if there isn't something I can do to help you and your partner."

It took a few seconds for her to come up with any words. The woman's words leaving her baffled in shock.

"Wow, thank you. I'm… I'm not sure what to say."

"It is nothing to mention dear. I am surely the one that should be thanking you."

Jane froze at comment, not quite understanding what the woman meant, but quickly jolting out of it. She scribbled down her basic information on the scrap of paper the woman had pulled from her designer purse.

"Well, still. It's really kind-" Her phone buzzed, cutting her off. Tommy's name showing up on her screen. She glanced back up with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, I really need to take this."

"I understand," she said with a nod. "I really should be going anyway. It was nice to meet you Jane."

"Nice to meet you too."

She answered the phone, turning away as the woman stood from the chair.

"Hey Tommy," she greeted. And as she said his name, the thought dawned on her and she swiveled back around. "Oh, I didn't catch your name…"

Jane trailed off, the hallway empty, the woman had disappeared as quietly as she had arrived, leaving no evidence she had ever been there besides the goosebumps that ran up and down Jane's arms. Because while the conversation between them had been brief, she couldn't help feeling that something would come of it. Something lasting and forever.

* * *

Present Day

The gala was like any other she had attended before. Well-dressed couples. Superficial pleasantries. An overabundance of champagne and money flowing the entire evening.

She had to give her mother credit, the woman knew how to throw a fundraiser. Especially when it was for the Isles Foundation. Her mother's personal project. One more thing she could boast about to her friends and colleagues.

But the admiration was short lived. Maura downed her flute of champagne in one graceful swig, the thought of her mother burrowing deeper, agitating her more and more. It was because of her that she was there speaking with people out of requirement. People who would forget about her until their paths crossed at the next gala or social event.

Her mother had insisted she attend on her behalf, a more pressing appointment suddenly requiring her attention. Because a gala for the Isles Foundation without an Isles present was unacceptable. It hadn't been the first time her mother had done this, but it was the first time it bothered her. The first time she realized the inconsiderate nature of her mother's demand.

Because for the first time it had caused her to turn down an invitation she truly wanted to accept. Dinner with Jane and Elle. Just the thought of the two of them enough to form the only genuine smile she had displayed all evening. And it didn't take but a split second more for her mind to be made up. Nothing and no one was worth her missing out on time she could be spending with them.

Her hand quivered with nerves as she made her way to the front porch, almost dropping the small piece of paper she had been fiddling with the entire drive over. A Post-It note that Jane had given with her address in case the party was, in Jane's words, "a dud". And though she got the fluttering to settle in the few moments she waited after ringing the doorbell, they grew and bubbled as the door opened. As Jane stood before her with a grin that started as a shock and curled into joy.

"Maura…"

It was all she could manage, mesmerized by the woman in front of her. And not because of the way the gold dress hugged her just right. Or how her hair fell in perfect waves. But because she was there. Standing in front of her when she knew there was a much more important place she should have been.

"Hi," she breathed out. "I know earlier I had to decline your invitation and now I am an hour late, but I was wondering if there was any possibility of me still joining you for dinner."

The glimmer in Jane's eyes answered the question before any words could.

"Of course. Please, come in."

"Thank you."

Her words carried in the small entry and they were all that was needed to cause a flurry of scuttles from the other room.

"Mo?!"

Maura turned to Jane in confusion, paralyzing fear rushing like ice water through her limbs, making her freeze. Had they been expecting someone else given her initial unavailability?

"She means you," Jane filled in, taking a step closer. "Mo, it's the nickname she's been calling you around here."

She wasn't sure what she was touched by more, the nickname or that she was spoken of even when she wasn't present. And as the idea sank in, Jane tossed her a reassuring wink, causing her heart to skip a beat just before Elle flew around the corner.

"It is you!" As fast as she raced up to her, was as quick as she came to an abrupt stop. "Wow. I've never seen anyone so pretty. Right Ma?"

Jane cleared her throat but her words still came out thickly. "Yeah, I agree."

Maura's cheeks grew hot and she pulled her eyes away to focus on Elle once again.

"Are you going to have dinner with us? We're having pizza. We just started."

"I would love to if that's alright."

Elle nodded enthusiastically. "But I think you shouldn't wear this. It's too fancy and Ma says we have to wear not nice clothes when we make dinner just in case we make a mess."

"That is very smart, but I don't…"

The little girl cut back in as if she could read her mind.

"You can wear some of my ma's clothes. She has lots. Right?" She turned to Jane.

"Yeah of course."

Jane showed her to her bedroom, pointing out where she could find shirts and bottoms, telling her anything was fair game. And when she came back out a few minutes later, Jane again found herself having to remind herself to breathe.

Because Elle was wrong. Maura wearing one of her BPD T-shirts and a pair of leggings, hair pulled up in a loose ponytail, was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen.

"That's a lot better," Elle said, taking her hand and leading her over to the counter, toppings already spread across the space. It was all it took to know that leaving the gala early was completely worth it. That the moments she spent with the both of them would wash away the harsh, scolding words she was sure to get from her mother.

"Did your party finish?" Elle asked, stepping onto a small stool.

"No. I decided to leave early."

"Why?" Elle's tone signaling she though the idea of leaving a party early was the most egregious thing in the world.

"Because I would rather spend time with you and your mom."

"You would?"

"Yes. This," she motioned to the counter, "is much more fun."

Elle smiled and pushed herself closer, not quite leaning into her but enough to close the gap that had once been between them.

"I'll help you since you've never made pizza with us before."

"That sounds perfect."

* * *

She quickly determined that meals with Elle meant an endless stream of questions. Rapid fire and completely random. Which was the reason both she and Jane were caught unprepared for the direction the conversation headed.

"Mo, do you like boys?"

She finished taking a sip of wine and gave a single nod. "Yes I do. I have a number of male acquaintances and colleagues."

"No, I mean _like_ like boys."

Jane choked on the last piece of crust she had just popped in her mouth.

"Maura you don't have to answer that," she managed after a hard swallow. "Elle remember when we talked about personal space and how that also means we make sure questions don't invade another person's space."

Elle understood instantly. "Oh yeah. Sorry."

"It's alright," Maura assured with a smile. "I don't mind answering…" she trailed off, her tone asking if was alright to share. And Jane's soft grin was all she needed to continue.

"Do you know want to know what I think is most important when you like someone?"

The little girl nodded, hanging on her every word.

"The most important thing is how a person makes you feel when you are with them. I like people that make me feel good and happy. And if whether that person is a man or a woman, it doesn't matter to me, I like them both."

Elle's mouth dropped, turning to Jane. "You can do that?"

Jane's throat had gone dry as a desert, because even though she had suspected that Maura at least liked women based on the tension between them, it was another thing to hear her say as much out loud. And because she was certain sand would spill from her mouth if she tried to speak, she managed a single nod.

"That's good," Elle said, and as if an afterthought she nonchalantly continued. "Because my Ma likes girls, so you and her could like each other."

"Alright," Jane cut in, standing from the table in an effort to hide the deep embarrassment that was settling in. "I think it's time for you to get to bed."

It took a few minutes, but eventually Jane got Elle tucked in and the two of them settled on opposite ends of the couch, new drinks in hand. There was a quiet that found them, not uncomfortable, just different than the usual noise that seemed to always surrounded them.

A smirk appeared on Jane's face the longer she looked at Maura. She had been a detective for quite a while, but she was certain anyone would be able to see Maura wanted to ask something.

"Something on your mind Maur?"

"Maur?"

"Yeah. Elle isn't the only one that can come up with a nickname. Unless you don't like it. And if you don't like Mo, I can tell Elle…"

"No I do like them," she cut in. "They mean a great deal actually."

Both of them smiled into their drinks, taking another sip.

"So, is there? Something?"

She watched as Maura seemed to waver back and forth with her answer, the uncertainty evident in the soft quivering her words came out in.

"Yes there is."

Their eyes locked at Maura's answer. The look both intimate and exposing and filled both of them with a feeling of comfort neither of them had felt in a very long time.

"You're quite young," she started, causing Jane to let out a deep laugh.

"Thirty four isn't quite a spring chicken."

Maura let out a small laugh, giving a short shake of her head before taking a sip of her wine. And Jane was helpless to the smirk that appeared on her own face as she simply watched Maura. As she marveled that she could make her laugh.

"That is young Jane. It has to be, otherwise we are both old." Maura grinned and continued. "But seeing as the average age of adoptive mothers is 44, you are rather young. Especially since Elle is already 7 years old."

Jane nodded, understanding what Maura was getting at without actually saying the words.

"You want to know about Elle's adoption."

"I am curious."

"Well the short story is I was lucky. Really lucky. A right time, right place kind of moment." She glanced up from her lap to see Maura intently watching her, waiting for more. "There's a longer version, but I'm not sure you want to sit through me telling it."

"Actually, if you don't mind, I would. I have no other plans for the evening - ," she cut herself off sharply, realization washing over her. "Unless… unless I've overstepped and you don't…"

"No, it's alright," Jane interjected Maura's sudden self-consciousness.

She took a long draw of her beer. It had been a long while since she had thought back to that period of her life. And there was good reason. All the feelings that some of those memories dredged up she preferred remained buried. How only a few days composed the best and worst moments of her life.

With a deep breath she started. Maura listened intently as Jane mentioned the false alarm that resulted in a trip to the hospital. How her book lead to the odd conversation with the unknown woman.

"And it wasn't 24 hours later that I was being called by a number of lawyers from a private agency to discuss the placement of a newborn little girl."

"Elle," Maura whispered.

"Yeah. The couple of days that followed were just this flurry of paperwork and visits and me scrambling to get everything together. I remember being so stressed and nervous and..." she stopped before the word tumbled out. Heartbroken. "But then she was in my arms and it was all worth it."

Her smile faltered for a moment as she looked at Maura. Because although she tried to mask it, Jane could see the pain in her tensed brow and the sadness pooled in her eyes. Maura dropped her head away from Janes stare, gathering herself before looking back up.

"And her birth parents? Do you know anything about them?"

Janes stomach knotted for a second as she recalled the uncertainty she had agreed to all those years before. She shook her head once.

"I don't know much more than the very basics I was told. Her birth mother died and no one knew who her father was. The agency explained that the only condition Elle's birth family demanded was that it'd be a closed adoption. And as much as I disliked the idea, how much I didn't understand why, I agreed. Sometimes I wonder if I should have tried to negotiate with them so Elle would have that information. I can't help but wonder if agreeing so quickly was the right choice."

"It was," Maura said firmly. "If you hadn't, they would have found another family that would have. Elle has you and your family and this life. That's what matters."

Janes breath caught in her throat until the burning of her lungs reminded her to breathe again.

"Thanks."

She peeled at the label of her beer and Maura could tell there was something else Jane was holding onto.

"There's more." Maura's words hovered somewhere between a question and statement.

She cleared her throat, staying quiet a little longer before answering. "I don't know. I always got the feeling that the woman from the hospital was closer than she let me believe."

"You think she had an active role from a legal standpoint in assisting with the adoption?"

"No. Like she knew more than just contacts at an agency. Like maybe she knew the birth mother or family personally. It would explain why I felt like I was being sized up the entire time I was speaking with her. I don't know. Just a hunch. Maybe a wish, for Elle's sake."

She ran her hand through her hair. "It's why I had a sketch artist here draw her portrait for me after everything was finalized. Just in case she was. It may be the only thing we could use if Elle ever really wanted to investigate. God that sounds crazy." She let out a defeated laugh.

"No it doesn't," Maura reassured, though met with skeptical eyes. "You want to make sure she has the opportunity to have everything. That's what most parents want for their children."

Again, she is astounded by the woman before her. This time it was she that dropped her gaze to her lap, breaking their eye contact. The sudden realization of how much she had shared hitting her full force.

"Jane," Maura placed her hand softly over hers, but the touch did nothing to pull Janes gaze back to her. She tried again, making small movements with her thumb that ran across the back of Jane's hand. It didn't take much longer for Jane to look up and Maura had to swallow back her surprise. She'd never seen the other woman look so vulnerable. And it washed away the question rolling around in her head. What had happened to the partner Jane had mentioned?

"Thank you for telling me."

"Of course Maura," she managed. She was certain she would tell Maura anything if she asked.

Maura smiled back, and it was only then that Jane fully recognized how close they had moved towards one another. She could make out the speckles of gold that highlighted the green in which they swam around her eyes. And the soft creases that accented them giving them the character that was so certainly Maura; sophisticated and kind and bright. And how her smile rose slightly higher on her left side.

It was all of this and Maura's words and the building between them the past few weeks that hit Jane with a force she wasn't prepared for. The urge to kiss her almost all consuming. She shifted on the couch, bringing her a few inches closer, to a position where Maura was almost in her lap.

"Maur?" It was the only word she could get out, her voice thick and raspy.

"Yes?" Maura whispered in return.

Jane had to stifle a groan. There was no way Maura couldn't feel the overwhelming charge between them, but she had to be sure.

"Did you mean what you said to Elle? That you like both men and women?"

Maura swallowed hard. She had hoped their conversation would eventually bring them to this place, but now that it was upon them, she couldn't help but be overwhelmed by what it could mean. Where it could head. How it would affect everything that came afterwards.

"Yes I did."

"Good. That's good. I mean I think it's good..."

"Jane."

"Please tell me you feel whatever this is between us?"

Maura nodded in reply, not trusting herself to actually say the words, and took in a deep breath as Jane tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. She felt frighteningly open and exposed. But also comforted and at peace.

Jane smiled. One of relief and excitement.

"I'd really like to kiss you. Is it alright if I kiss you?"

"Please." The word barely audible, yet both of them heard it perfectly.

Jane's eyes wandered over her face. The look sent shivers down her arms, which only intensified as Jane's finger ghosted under her chin. The both slowly leaned in, closing the distance between them, and then their lips connected. Soft and timid. Exploratory.

Maura's hands found the nape of Jane's neck, pulling her closer. Jane's hand cupped her cheek. And as the kiss grew, the hesitancy dissipated. It didn't build, there was no frenzy, but became comfortable, like they had done so a million times over. Each of them completely lost in the other.

Jane's smile forced her to break away. The two rested their foreheads together, eyes closed and lips buzzing. And it was with more reluctance that they finally pull away from one another.

Maura laughed at how dazed Jane seemed for a moment. She was certain she looked the same.

Jane reached for her hand, giving a gentle squeeze.

"So, how does this measure up to your gala?" she joked lightly.

"There is no comparison. Although…"

Jane raised her eyebrows.

She shook her head having decided against continuing. "Never mind."

"Oh no," Jane teased, pulling her close again. "Now you need to finish."

"Well, there was one part of this gala that I particularly enjoy which I missed by abruptly leaving." She paused to glance up at Jane. "An end of the evening dance."

Jane quickly removed herself from the couch without saying a word. Her face fell in confusion. Worry that she had said the wrong thing settling in her chest.

But she was back before Maura could spiral any further into her thoughts. Phone in hand. And with a couple of taps music began to play.

A smile and blush creep across her face as Jane extended her hand.

"Maura Isles, may I have this dance?"

She lost count of the number of songs they swayed through. The two of them pressed closely, wrapped in one another's arms. Jane stealing kisses to the top of Maura's head. Maura pressing kisses into Jane's shoulder. A simplistic magic to it all that the splendor of a million galas would never come close to touching.

* * *

AN: Some creative liberties were probably taken in this chapter regarding legalities of adoption stuff, but this is being written for fun not accuracy. Any thoughts as to who the mysterious woman is?


	4. Chapter 4

Most of you hit the nail on the head, we saw our first little bit of Constance last chapter. How about something light-ish this chapter before we get into heavy stuff?

* * *

Jane pulled two beers from the fridge before kicking it closed and twisting off the caps.

"Thanks," Tommy mumbled as he grabbed the bottle and took a long drink.

"You're welcome."

Jane took a swig as well, fully understanding her brother's exhaustion. It had been a long week. And though neither would admit it aloud, both of them were eternally grateful Angela had agreed to watch TJ and Elle for the evening.

She set her beer on the counter. "So, about Elle's fall showcase next week…"

Caught mid-swallow, he choked, sending suds down his chin and onto his shirt. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand in an attempt to clean up.

"Shit Janie. I forgot." Guilt washed over his face. "You're supposed to give me a two week reminder. That's our thing. I've got plans next week."

She tossed a dish rag at him and pointed to the puddles on the counter.

"It's okay. I didn't remind you because you don't need to come with us," she assured. "I mean if you're plans fall through, you're more than welcome though."

"But you hate going to those things alone," he countered, not looking up from where he had started to clean up the spill.

She bit her lip. She was going to get so much shit from him once she answered. He had always been the one that teased her when it came to all things relationships. It was their thing.

"I'm not going alone."

Tommy's head bolted up in surprise.

"Wait, is Frankie going? Janie this is my uncle duty. I get the showcase and Frankie gets the open house. That's the deal."

"No, it's not Frankie." She stopped before explaining further, but Tommy looked at her expectantly and she knew he would never let it go unless he had the answer. "Elle invited Maura and she agreed to come along."

She waited, watching closely for any reaction.

"The new M.E.?" he questioned with a furrowed brow.

"How…" she started to ask, confused as to how he would know who Maura was.

"Frankie was talking about her the other day. She helped him win a bet or something. Why would Elle-" he stopped his question mid-sentence and Jane could see the lightbulb turn on. "Wait, Janie are you seeing her?"

A deep blush crept over her cheeks and up her neck. And in an attempt to hide it from him, she raised the beer bottle back to her lips and took a sip. Her lack of response told him everything he wanted to know.

"You totally are. Since when?"

As the bottle left her lips a grin appeared. One she couldn't, nor wanted, to hide.

"It's new-ish." She answered, recalling that first dinner that had been almost two months before and all the time spent with one another since.

She expected the third degree. For him to rattle off a list of questions in an attempt to quench his clear curiosity, but she was surprised when he didn't. Rather, he simply stated what she had felt since that first lunch.

"You're smitten with her."

"What?"

"You are Janie. You're blushing like a fool."

"Shut up."

Each of them chuckled at the friendly sibling banter. She stayed quiet, watching and waiting, convinced the witty remark was just around the corner, but again it never came.

"I'm happy for you Jane. For you and Elle."

"Thanks Tommy." She pointed to his now almost empty bottle. "Another one? Since most of it ended up on your shirt."

"Sure."

And as she opened the fridge, leaning in to grab the beers, she couldn't help the full laugh she let loose as he started.

"Janie and Maura sittin' in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G…"

* * *

It only took a few moments for her to understand why Jane had warned her earlier in the day. The school was buzzing. Absolute organized chaos. Kids ran around playing with friends. Parents chatted with other parents or futility tried to wrangle their children into classrooms. It was a mess of unknown and encompassed a lot of what she had come to fear.

Not realizing, she held her breath in a sudden panic, but Jane's gentle touch along her lower back was all she needed to relax. She softened with the reassurance her fingers brought. Comforted knowing there was someone she completely trusted. That although they hadn't known each other long, Jane somehow understood her so well.

However, her ease was short lived as Jane was practically ripped from her side by a handful of parents intent on organizing an event with the BPD for the school. As Jane looked over her shoulder, being lead in a different direction, neither of them were certain who's eyes went wider with panic. But just as the anxiety began to build, a small hand slipped into her own.

"I want to show you my desk."

Maura gave a little squeeze and followed as Elle guided her to the miniature table. And when prompted to sit, she couldn't have been more grateful she had decided to wear jeans, because there was no other outfit that would have allowed her to contort enough to fit on the extremely small chair.

"These are beautiful." Her fingers brushed lightly over the handful of art projects before her. "You made all of these?"

Elle nodded. Her smile beaming proudly.

"Look at this one," she exclaimed, pulling out a sheet halfway buried under all the others. "We had to make our family tree and this is what mine looks like."

Her eyes wandered over the paper, following crooked lines that connected names and small, cut up photos. Some she recognized from mentions by Jane. Angela and Frankie and Tommy. Others she didn't.

"Mine doesn't have as many people as some of my friends because it's only me and my ma, but that's okay."

"It looks wonderful, Elle."

"Miss Mason said I could have also put my other parents on the side if I wanted, but I don't know them, so I didn't put them on here."

"Would you like to know something?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"If I had to make a family tree, I think I would have made the same choice and left my birth parents off of it too."

Elle's eyes narrowed as she processed Maura's words, her head tilting to the side as it all clicked into place.

"You were adopted too?"

"I was."

She watched as the little girl dropped her gaze back to the desk, toying with the corner of the paper. Sparkling eyes looked back up a moment later.

"Would your family tree be the same size as mine?"

"Oh no. Mine would be quite small."

"Why?" Her voice was filled with concern and Maura couldn't help but feel touched.

"Because I was an only child and so were each of my parents."

Elle's brow furrowed once again. A clear dislike at her answer. And Maura thought it looked like an idea was churning in her head, but then it was gone.

"I'm going to go over by my friends."

Maura nodded. "Okay. Have fun."

But as Elle turned to leave, Maura's eyes caught a detail she had missed before. Under Elle's picture on the tree, scrawled in choppy handwriting was a date.

Elle's birthday. May 11, 2012. The same as…

She sucked in sharply.

"Elle, wait." Her words made Elle swivel back around. "This… this is your birthday?"

"Mmhmm."

Maura blinked hard a couple of times, pushing the impossibility out of her mind. The brain was complex, and she painfully concluded that it was playing a cruel trick on her. Coercing her to find a connection that couldn't be true. Exploiting the desire she always had and was forced to bury long ago.

"Are you okay, Mo?"

She cleared her throat and jostled herself back to the moment. "Of course sweetheart. You go play with your friends."

Elle smiled and scampered off. Leaving her once again with thundering thoughts.

She found herself thankful for the small, uncomfortable chair because she could have gotten lost in herself, but the threat of her legs becoming numb due to her position forced her away from the desk. Away from the haunting coincidence.

"Are you surviving?" Jane asked, coming up from behind. "I'm so sorry about getting pulled away. I would have tried to escape sooner, but some of those women are scarier than the perps I deal with."

Maura smirked. "That is quite the exaggeration, Jane."

"Oh it's not. Trust me." Maura raised her eyebrows. "You don't believe me. Go over there and see for yourself."

"I believe I'll pass."

"It's because you know I'm right."

"It's most certainly not."

The smirk Jane gave her made her wish they were somewhere private so she could kiss her. Instead, she gently took Jane's hand in hers and gave a light squeeze. One that Jane returned.

For a while it was just the two of them. Hand in hand wandering the classroom looking at projects that had already been finished. Making note of the dates of all the other school and class events planned for the rest of the year so they could be at each one. Both of them. Together.

They stayed in their own little bubble as long as possible. Smiling back at Elle when she would give them a big wave from across the room. Carrying on short conversations with other parents. And by the time Jane was pulled away by Elle's teacher for a short chat, Maura was completely comfortable.

She marveled at the little community. Lively and warm and welcoming. It was so different from her own upbringing. It was everything she had wished for her own… She stopped herself from going any further down that train of thought.

"Mo?" A small hand slipped into her own. And she looked down to see a tired, smiling face. "Can you and me and Ma go home now?"

"Of course we can," she replied, running her free hand through Elle's hair a few times. Elle grinned and leaned further into her side.

Maura looked up to catch Jane already staring at them both. Something about the look in her eyes. The care and wonder and want that poured from them sent a chill up her spine. One that radiated tendrils of excitement and warmth through the rest of her body.

Jane subtlety held her hand up to ask for five more minutes to wrap up her conversation. Maura gave a single nod before she turned back to Elle.

"How about we walk outside for a little bit while your mom finishes speaking with your teacher?"

"Okay," she agreed, leading them both outside, her hand still in Maura's.

It was a perfect mid-October evening and by some miracle the once bustling playground had been abandoned, allowing each of them to settle on a swing.

"We have to link arms. Like this," she explained, sneaking her arm through the bend of Maura's elbow and hooking them together. "This is how me and my friends swing with each other."

She used her feet to rock back and forth, moving Elle along with her as little legs dangled freely in the air. Though calming and peaceful, she suspected kids rather preferred to move faster and higher.

"Should we swing faster?"

"No. I like it like this."

"Alright," she agreed softly.

The two stayed quiet for a few sways back and forth.

"Mo?" Elle broke the quiet between them, adjusting to keep them locked even closer.

"Yes?"

"Did you ever look for your other mom and dad?"

"When I was younger I did," she answered with a soft smile. Her heart filling at the kindness and concern Elle's words were laced with.

"Did you find them?"

She stopped their swinging completely. "No. I didn't"

"Did that make you sad?"

The question lingered for a few seconds, having caught her unprepared. Because that had been so long ago. So long since she had just accepted that she would probably never find them. But no one had ever asked her how that fact made her feel. She hadn't even asked herself that. Not really.

"Maybe a little," she admitted after a moment. "I think I would have liked to show them what I've become. What my life looks like."

She watched Elle mull over the answer before she shot her a grin. "I think they would be happy."

"You do?"

Elle nodded. "Yeah. Because you are nice and smart. And you make me laugh and you can make my ma smile. Those are all good things and I think they would like knowing how good you are at doing all of them."

Unexpected tears well in her eyes and she blinked a couple of times to clear them. Elle's hand slipped away from where they had been linked, the cool air against the skin of her arm sent goosebumps up to her neck. And she instantly wished she could scoop the little girl into a big hug.

"I made something for you."

"You did?"

Elle nodded enthusiastically, scrambling off the swing and moving to lean against Maura's thigh. She pulled out a folded up sheet of colored construction paper and held it out. As Maura opened it, her throat closed, touched by the thoughtfulness of the simple gift.

Carefully drawn in marker was an exact copy of her family tree project. It wasn't as fancy or clean. The lines were more wobbly and stick figures had been drawn where photos could be found on the original, and Maura thought the details made it even more perfect. But it was different beyond those things. It included her. A dark line connected her to Jane with Elle beneath them both.

"I drew another family tree, like the one on my desk, but I put you in this one. See?" she pointed to the spot Maura had already begun to focus on. "You're connected to my Ma. Miss Mason said that's how you show people have a connection. Since you said you have a small tree, I think you should be in ours. So you can have a bigger family. And because I want you to really be a part of our family."

Maura remained stunned in silence, running her fingers over the paper a few times.

"Do you like it?" Elle asked with wide, hopeful eyes.

"I love it. This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever given me. Thank you."

Elle beamed and Maura leaned over, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"Can we swing again?"

"Of course," she replied, moving to steady the swing next to her so Elle could hop back on.

"This time can I sit on your lap instead?"

With a large smile, she pulled Elle into her lap and the two began to sway back and forth. Elle resting her head against Maura. Maura keeping one arm wrapped tight around her. Neither of them aware their entire exchange had been witnessed by Jane. Her heart melting as she watched. And if she hadn't been certain she was falling for Maura Isles before, she was certain after that.

* * *

Maura stood in the kitchen, observing it as she waited. It wasn't the first time she had been in the space, but it was the first time she really had the opportunity to take it in. Drawings stuck to the fridge under multi-colored alphabet magnets. Labels served to mark everything's place, mostly. Something she was certain Angela had done, most likely without Jane's permission.

The place felt lived in and loved and she found herself wondering what it would be like if nights like the one she just had were her life. School functions and small moments and coming back to a place that held memories and bright promises. The idea floated in her head as she grabbed two beers from the fridge. Figuring it was just what the both of them needed.

Jane walked in only a couple of minutes later, meeting Maura at the counter.

"Sorry that took so long," she started. Maura slid the opened beer closer towards her and she graciously took it. "Thanks."

Maura just nodded and each took a sip.

"Why is it that once it's time to go to bed, kids get this sudden burst of energy? There has to be a scientific reason."

"I don't think that's a thing, Jane."

"Oh it is. It's most certainly a thing." She countered. "She was dead to the world the entire ride home and then I get her into bed and she excitedly wants to recap the entire night."

A laugh escaped Maura's lips. Not from what Jane was saying, but by how. Half annoyed. Half amazed.

"It's not funny Maura," she quipped.

"If you say so."

Jane narrowed her eyes playfully at the reply, followed by a small smirk. She took another drink before her hand began to wander over the counter, coming to rest over Maura's. Her fingers traced light patterns over the tops of Maura's. And when she looked up, just as Maura was doing as well, she felt as if she could melt from the imperfect perfection that her life was at that moment. Her daughter and Maura and laughing after a long, wonderful day.

"Thank you for coming tonight. It meant a lot to Elle and me… to us. It meant a lot to us."

"Of course. I had a wonderful time." Jane raised an eyebrow in questionable doubt and Maura laughed at the typical Jane mannerism. "Honestly. It was quite the experience and I thoroughly enjoyed it."

"If you say so," she replied. This time Maura narrowed her eyes, immediately recognizing how Jane mimicked her response from moments earlier.

It still amazed her how good Jane could make her feel.

"This probably doesn't need to be asked, but did Elle have a good time?"

"The best. I don't think I've ever seen her so excited." Maura couldn't help but smile at how happy Jane looked talking about Elle. "She loves these things. The fall showcase, open house, anything that lets her show what she's been doing." She paused for a moment. "Tonight was different though."

Maura moved a step closer. "How do you mean?"

"Usually it's Frankie or Tommy that come with us to these things. Mainly to support Elle, a little to save me from small talk with other parents. And I know she appreciates it. Having that extra person there to see everything. Being like most of her other classmates that have two parents. But she also knows that they are just her fun uncles. That it isn't quite the same.

"Tonight though… tonight she had you. I think that's a part of why she was so excited. Because she felt she had two…" She cut herself off sharply at the realization of how her words were coming out. The indication that Elle viewed her as a parent even though they had only been together for a couple of months. "God, I didn't mean to imply…"

"It's alright, Jane. I understand. Really."

Maura could see the concern Jane was trying to hold back. Different from the panic moments before. She slipped her hand out from under hers and ran it up to rest on Jane's forearm in an attempt to reassure. To comfort.

"Hey, what is it? You can tell me if you want."

Jane sucked in a deep breath, gaze focused on where Maura was touching her, before looking back up.

"Sometimes I can't help but worry about what she's missing out on because it's just me. I grew up in a traditional family, mom and dad and siblings, but it's just the two of us and there's this part of me that wonders if she's not getting a full life experience because of that. How that's going to impact her later in life."

Her words were raw and exposing and Maura didn't think she could be any more perfect.

"You shouldn't - worry that is," she assured, giving a soft squeeze. "She isn't missing out. I had two parents my entire childhood and I know you show her more love than they ever have showed me. The number isn't important, it's how much you care. How much you are there for her. That's all that matters."

Jane stared at her in wonder. How had she gotten so lucky? She reached out, her fingers settling gently against Maura's cheek. A warmth ran back up her arm as Maura cupped her hand with her own. And without a moment's more pause, she dipped down, closing the charged gap between them, her lips brushing over Maura's. Once then twice. Teasing.

Until Maura couldn't take it anymore, slipping her hand behind Jane's neck, keeping her close. Their lips dancing over each other's. Starting slow, steadily picking up steam, until an unexpected shout halted them both.

"Ma." The call came from down the hall.

Maura pulled away, glancing in the direction of Elle's room. Jane smiled against her neck before she pressed a light kiss just under her jawline. And when that didn't completely get Maura's attention once again, she placed her finger under her chin and gently turned her back.

"Do you need to…" Maura whispered.

"Just give her a minute. She usually falls back to sleep on her own."

They held each other's gaze, silent and still, listening for any noise that would tell them she was still awake. And when met with silence, Jane dipped again, pressing a kiss to Maura's pulse point before finding her lips once more. And just when they had found a rhythm, pushing and pulling and hardly breathing, another call broke them apart.

"Ma."

Jane set her forehead against Maura's. Eyes closed. Smile across her face. All things that let Maura know she too found the moment humorous. But still, she pulled away with a groan.

"But apparently tonight that isn't the case."

Maura chuckled as she found Jane's hand and ran her thumb over her knuckles a couple of times.

"I should really go anyway. I have that BCU seminar in the morning."

Jane nodded. Though she understood, everything within her wished she would stay. Wished she could get even just a few more minutes. Because anything less wasn't enough.

"Of course. I'll walk you out."

Their steps became slower as they moved to the door. Jane's hand pressed lightly against her back just like earlier, bringing with it the same ease and comfort. And as they stood at the door, the reluctance from each of them was evident. Both touching to keep contact. Standing close and intimate.

Maura pushed some of Jane's hair away from her face and it seemed to keep them both from becoming anymore lost in the other.

"I know I said this before, but I did have a wonderful time tonight."

"I did too."

Maura could see how much more was behind Jane's three little words. She raised on her toes, closing the small gap between them, determined to memorize the dips and ridges of Jane's lips. Jane pulled away before it could get any deeper.

"You're going to have to stop doing that. It's making it really hard for me to let you leave."

She grinned back. "Fine. I will see tomorrow, Jane."

"Bye," she rasped back as Maura stepped away.

Jane closed the door and leaned back against it. A smile upon her face she was certain would never fade. The sound of bare feet soft against hardwood floors got closer and closer until Elle appeared.

"Hey bug. I'm sorry. Let's get you back to bed, huh?"

And as she scooped her up, she couldn't help the lightness that flooded her chest. Because her life was perfect. Elle and Maura. The three of them. There was nothing else she needed. Elle wrapped her arms around Jane's neck a little tighter, her words thick and drowsy.

"I think someday Mo should stay here all the time."

Jane squeezed her a little tighter and pressed a kiss to the side of her head.

"Me too sweetheart. Me too."

* * *

Also, I know Maura is super smart, but she also sticks to the facts and there is a reason she isn't putting everything together or allowing herself to explore the possibility at the moment. Hope you enjoyed.


	5. Chapter 5

Quick note- this chapter discusses Maura's backstory and the loss of an infant. Just wanted to give warning if that is a sensitive issue for you. You all have been lovely readers and I can't thank you enough for the support you've shown thus far. Thank you.

* * *

"I want to… play the… violin," Elle mumbled into Jane's shoulder. Voice full of sleep. Eyes fallen shut. Growing heavier in her harms with each second as she dozed off.

"Okay Miss Chopin, we'll talk about it in the morning," she said, gently tucking her under the covers and giving a light kiss to her forehead.

"Promise?"

Jane silently smirked, pushing Elle's hair away from her face. "Promise. I love you."

"I love you." She whispered back, her words coming out thick and half spoken. She rolled over and Jane and Maura barely hear the last little bit. "Goodnight Ma. Goodnight Mo."

Jane turned with a grin to where Maura leaned against the doorway. Elle having insisted that she come to tuck her in as well.

"Night sweetheart," she whispered, a small crack in her voice at the very end.

Jane pulled the blanket up an inch more before they moved out to the hall, quietly shutting Elle's door behind them. And the look Jane gave her after the handle clicked shut had Maura going wobbly at the knees. The stare one of gratitude and admiration and want.

She took a deep breath and managed to find her voice.

"You know Chopin was primarily a pianist. A more suitable violinist to reference would be Niccolo Paganini."

Jane smiled. She loved when Maura displayed how much she knew about practically everything.

"I'll make sure to let her know tomorrow."

She took a few step back towards the kitchen, not getting too far as Maura gently grabbed her wrist, giving a slight tug that pulled them close again. Her hand settled on Jane's lower abs, sending shivers down the detective's spine. Her stomach tightening as Maura searched over her face, settling on her lips for a few seconds before meeting her eyes again.

"You are incredible."

Jane bit her lip, if only to keep from grinning like a complete idiot. "You're not so bad yourself," she quipped back, a grin spread across her face.

Maura's chest filled with flustered warmth at the smile. Jane pulled at her waist, drawing them together as their lips met. The anticipation from moments before making them both eager to explore. Jane pressed her palm more firmly to the small of her back and Maura pulled away with a gasp. Lungs burning so good. And with her breath heaving, she dropped her forehead into Jane's neck.

Jane dipped her head and continued to pepper kisses along her jaw, eliciting a soft moan as she pressed near Maura's pulse point. She did it again and once more, getting the same response, and Maura laughed when she realized what Jane was doing. She felt Jane smile against her, their giddiness mirroring one another.

"Stay?"

Jane's breath was warm against her ear and Maura melted into her. It was so much more than a single word or request or question. It seemed to hold all they had been building. Held hopes of where it would lead them. Another kiss was pressed to where the question still lingered.

"Maura? Spend the night."

With a deep breath, Maura pulled back just enough to look up, finding Jane's soft eyes. Her own eyes fluttered as Jane pushed a few strands of hair away from her face.

"Yes," she whispered against Jane's lips before bringing them back together for a soft moment before Jane took her hand, leading them to her bedroom, the door making a soft click as it gently shut behind them.

* * *

They laid tangled up in sheets and one another. They had covered themselves back up, each of them tossing on one of Jane's oversized t-shirts, just in case Elle got up from bed. But arms rested on torsos and backs. Legs weaved between them. Anything that kept skin to skin contact.

Maura's head rested on Jane's chest. There was a comfort she never knew she craved with the steady rise and fall that came with each breath Jane took. Jane's fingers twirled around the end of one of her curls. The motion easy and wandering. It reminded her of some of the pieces they had heard at the symphony earlier in the evening.

God it had been perfect, magical even, watching Elle's face light up as the instruments played and fell silent. And she knew Maura felt the same. She had seen how her eyes glowed as she watched Elle, but there had been something else that filtered through. Small glimpses of what Jane thought looked like wonder. Not the kind that comes with amazement, but the type that accompanies ideas of what could have been.

And with that on her mind, she surprised herself as her voice flooded the bedroom and broke the quiet they had created.

"Maur, can I ask you a question?"

Maura nodded against her chest and she took in a deep steadying breath.

"I love the way you are with Elle, so please don't take this in any way that would make you change that or think I want you to do something different or…"

She trailed off as an unsteady nervousness settled in her chest. Her heart beat hard as though it might have burst. And she knew Maura felt the change in the once easy rhythm. She shifted in her arms, sitting up so they faced one another, concern tucked away in the creases around her eyes.

Jane swallowed hard.

"I guess…," she continued. "I guess I've just noticed that there are times you look at her and it's almost as if you are imagining her as someone else. And I just, is there…"

Jane's words died on her lips, not certain what her question even was, erased by the flash of pain that flickered across Maura's face as if she had been punched in the gut. She dropped her head away from Jane's stare, and though it had only been a split second, Jane knew she had hit upon something that ran deep and remained guarded.

"Shit, Maura. Sorry. Never mind. Forget I brought anything up."

It was an impossible request, she knew that. And both of them stayed stuck on the idea.

They fell quiet again. Jane internally cursed at herself over and over. Because though Maura had settled back into her side, her touch was lighter, a distance lodging its way between them.

And so she was surprised when Maura began to speak, her words soft and slightly muffled by Jane's shoulder.

"I was pregnant."

Jane was certain that all the air in the room had been sucked out because she was unable to breathe. The three words told an entire story. One she could feel was full of heartbreak.

She pulled Maura closer, and it was only when Maura leaned into her that she found the ability to breathe again. But she honestly hadn't cared that her lungs had gotten what they needed, her only concern with the woman in her arms. Who had fallen quiet and still. And when she spoke again, her voice was cracked and whispered.

"I've never spoken about this to anyone."

Jane pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"I'm here for whatever you want to tell me. And if you aren't ready now, I'll be here when you are. I promise."

Maura stayed quiet a few moments longer before continuing.

"A little over seven years ago I was pregnant and I lost her. I lost her." She choked out the last few words, her throat closing as she attempted to control the emotions that threatened to spill over.

The words lingered in the air. And suddenly everything seemed to move exceptionally fast. Maura's brain having trouble trying to keep up with it all. There was too much that she needed to say. All of it fighting to come out first. But eventually she found some words she could use to get her story out.

"I was 36 weeks pregnant with a little girl and she was all I could think about. She was the only thing that mattered. She was the first thing that made me feel that perhaps my life had purpose."

She paused for a moment, the memories flooding her with emotions she had tried to bury years before. The same emotions that Jane and Elle had begun to pull from her in the last few months. Joy and peace and hope.

"I don't expect you to understand," she started again. "But that feeling of suddenly knowing where you belong after a lifetime of not fitting in with anyone or anywhere… she was everything. And then… and then I couldn't protect her."

The tears overcame her, the last couple words coming out choppy and thick. And Jane could take no more as she began to console the woman she had started to fall in love with.

"Shh Maura. Shh. You don't…"

"I want to," Maura interrupted, managing to power through the three words with a force that surprised them both. A force that became a whisper. "I want to, Jane."

"Alright," Jane whispered into her hair before pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Take as long as you need."

Maura remained silent for minutes. Her only movements coming from the steady rise and fall as she remained curled on Jane's chest and an occasional swipe at her eyes to stop the falling tears. But Jane could feel just how many tears had slipped by, a puddle forming, soaking through her t-shirt, and she pulled Maura even closer.

"I wasn't supposed to be there," Maura started, her words heavy and guilt ridden. "My mother was throwing an event. I can't even remember for what organization, but she had insisted I get a new headshot for the program." She began to shake her head with disbelief that it had seemed so important to appease her mother's every wish back then. No matter what. "I was supposed to have done it weeks before, but with the end of the semester and doctor's appointments, it had been impossible. It was impossible."

Maura's final words came out as a plea. To whom, Jane wasn't sure, but she wanted Maura to know she understood. It wasn't her fault.

"I know Maur, I know."

Maura sat up, shaking her head without realizing. There was no way Jane could actually know. But as she faced her, Jane having moved with her so they were both sitting up in the bed, there was a comfort knowing that Jane was trying to understand. That someone wanted to feel with her.

She moved closer, settling between Jane's open legs, her hands falling to the bunched sheets beneath them.

"I waited until the last moment. I had to rush to get it done in time. To make it to the appointment my mother had booked with a particular photographer of her standards." Tears began to slide down her already track stained cheeks. Her voice starting to tremble. "I didn't look carefully enough and they didn't see me in time, and… and then I woke in the hospital three days later. Bruised and broken. Confused and utterly lost."

Slowly she flipped her left arm, exposing a light, white scar about 2 inches along the length of her forearm. Jane had noticed it before, always meaning to ask where it came from and now she wished beyond anything that there was a way she could have kept it from ever appearing. Jane reached out. Her touch, so light and cautious as if it would burn and attempt to cause her pain like it had for Maura all these years.

"They saved my life." She paused, tears slipping down her cheek. She made no attempt to stop them. And when Jane looked up, her own vision started to blur, pools filling her eyes. "But they couldn't save her. I have grown up lonely ever since I was a child. My life has been filled with people but no one was ever really a part of it. And I had become used to that. But in that hospital bed, after my mother told me she was gone, it was the most alone I have ever felt."

"Maura, can't even imagine… I am so sorry." Jane whispered through a bottled up sob. And her words were all it took for Maura to crumble, falling against her chest and into Jane's arms. Because it was the first time she had heard those words and truly believed them, recalling how her mother's had sounded cold all those years before.

Jane continued to mumble soft hushes into her hair, almost acting like soothing white noise. And though she continued to cling to Jane, Maura's grip on her shirt began to soften.

"She would be Elle's age." She said, clearing her throat. "So, yes. Sometimes when I hear Elle's laugh full of joy or watch as her smile brightens entire rooms, I can't help but wonder what my little girl would be like in those moments."

Jane's heart fluttered as she pictured Elle. Because she imagined Maura's daughter to be exactly the same. She couldn't deny that Elle was practically a mini version of Maura. Somehow walking the line of an even mix of them both.

"She would be lovely. Smart and kind and adventurous. I know it."

Maura sat back up, a soft smile across her cheeks.

"Thank you, Jane. It means more than you know that you listened. That you're here."

"Of course Maur. Always. I want to know you. Everything and anything you're willing to share. I'm here." She swiped her thumb gently across Maura's cheek, wiping away the last bit of dampness from earlier tears.

"I'm sure you have questions," said Maura, taking her hands and knitting their fingers together. "You can ask if you'd like."

Jane gave a little squeeze. She did. Lots of them. Some small, some big. She wanted to know if the father had ever been in the picture. And the details about the actual accident. And more about her mother. But she didn't need to know right then. Maura had already been through so much with what she had already told her. Instead, she only asked one.

"What was her name?"

Maura sucked in sharply before answering.

"Claire. I named her Claire. It means bright," she explained. " She was going to be the bright new chapter in my life."

A lump formed in Jane's throat and she swallowed hard to get her next words out.

"I know it's not the same, but Elle and I, we can be that if you want."

"I would like that more than anything."

They both sank back down to the positions they had been in earlier, Maura curled into Jane, held tight by strong arms. And as they were both overtaken by sleep, a peace settled within. The kind that came when you had no doubt that you were exactly where you were meant to be. Because after all that had been said, there was something they both couldn't deny. A connection they were building. And something they potentially had yet to discover.

* * *

Jane woke the next morning with her usual grumbling. But only moments after, memories of the night before took over, bringing with them a rare before-coffee smile. Images of Maura under her. The feeling of Maura's lips on hers. And then the recollection of their conversation and everything it meant.

Her excitement was quickly dashed as she turned over to find the other side of the bed empty and cool. She ran her hand over the sheet as if to make sure there really was no one lying next to her. The ruffling of the sheets only kicked up the smell of Maura's perfume and Jane tossed her head back on her pillow to face the ceiling.

She supposed maybe she should have expected it. That even after she had said they could be her future, that she and Elle would always be there, that Maura would need some space after everything that had been shared.

But the idea came and went in a blink as muffled voices floated down the hall. Jane softly padded towards the kitchen, stopping just out of sight as she watched Maura and Elle weave between the fridge and cupboards. She leaned against the wall, content to just observe for a while.

"Crack the egg just like that," Maura said as she demonstrated.

Elle tried, sending yolk and shell half into the bowl and the rest across the counter.

"I did it!"

"Great job. Now throw the rest over in the garbage."

Jane stifled a laugh as she watched Maura try to fish out as many pieces of egg shell she could while Elle's back was turned as she tossed the rest in the trash.

As Elle stirred the batter, she looked up to Maura.

"Can we add chocolate chips?"

"Chocolate for breakfast?"

A blush crept over Elle's cheeks, making Maura's heart melt. She smiled and grabbed a bag from the cupboard.

"Hold out your hand," she instructed. She poured a mound of the morsels into Elle's palm. "This will be our little secret."

Elle nodded as she began to pick at the individual pieces of chocolate with a grin. Maura poured some into the bowl, taking over the mixing duties as Elle focused on the more important task of eating the chips before they melted in her hand.

"Are you going to stay with us today?"

"Well…"

"Please Mo."

She smiled. There was no way she could say no to that face.

"I will for a little while, how about that? But I still need to go back to my house and take care of bass. And change." She mumbled the last bit soft and under her breath, but Elle caught it.

And it was only then that she seemed to realize that Maura wasn't dressed like she normally was when she came over.

"Is that Ma's shirt?"

Maura cleared her throat, uneasiness bubbling up. "Yes it is."

Elle scrunched her eye brows for a second.

"Why are you wearing it?"

Maura sipped her coffee, hoping the extra time would allow her to find an explanation suitable for a child, but her brain had seemingly short circuited, and she mumbled out some vague answer that first came to her mind.

"I borrowed it since I don't have any other clean clothes here."

A lightbulb went off in Elle's head as she finished off the last of the chocolate chips.

"Did you fall asleep here last night?"

"Yes I did."

"In my Ma's room?"

"Yes," she squeaked out.

"With her?"

"Yes." The word became increasingly difficult to say with each question. The room getting hotter and hotter.

The excitement on Elle's face was almost enough to settle her, until the next question was asked. "Are you and my ma real girlfriends now?"

Jane watched Maura squirm for a split second before she stepped out from her hiding spot, relieving her from having to answer.

"Good morning," she greeted, pressing a kiss to Elle's head as she got near. "What's going on here?"

"Mo and I are making chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast."

"This is lovely," Jane started, but didn't get any further as Elle's excitement from before flooded over.

"Are you and Mo real girlfriends now? Because I think you should be."

Jane glanced over to Maura, her eyes wide over the coffee cup clearly waiting to hear how Jane was going to answer.

"Well I'm not sure. What are _real_ girlfriends?"

Elle replied without hesitation. "When you hold hands and kiss and love each other."

Jane practically choked on the freshly poured cup of coffee. Because she had been all for Elle's definition until she reached the last little bit. Love. She caught Maura's eyes again and the glimmer sent a shiver down her spine. She hoped they were close to that point. Imagining how it would feel once they'd reached it.

"Why don't you go turn on some cartoons?" she deflected.

"Ma," Elle said, the word long and drawn out, irritated that her question wasn't being answered.

"Elle," Jane mimicked. "Please bean."

"Okay," she huffed, trotting off to the couch.

Jane moved to stand next to Maura, leaning back against the counter as she took another sip of her coffee. Maura simply smiled back. Both of the glowing just by being near one another.

"Thank you," Jane started.

"For what?"

She cleared her throat, eyes dropping for a brief moment before locking with Maura's.

"For still being here."

Her face scrunched into a puzzled look.

"I didn't know you were an early riser, and after all we talked about last night… an empty bed isn't the most pleasant thing to wake up to," she said with a shrug.

There was a vulnerability to Jane's words. Her look. Something Maura had only seen once or twice before since they had known each other. And she couldn't help the thought that popped into her head. The partner Jane had mentioned when explaining Elle's adoption. How maybe some of this reservation had to do with her. Had to do with the fact she was no longer in Jane and Elle's lives.

"You thought I snuck away."

"For a moment, yeah."

Maura moved directly in front of her, taking the mug from her hands and placing it on the counter. She reached for the back of Jane's neck, running her fingers up and down softly a couple of times. Jane setting her hands on Maura's waist.

"I would never do that to you, Jane. Trust me, I would have much preferred to have stayed curled into your side and woken to kisses that maybe could have stretched to more, but I didn't want to be caught in a compromising position if you didn't want Elle to know." She let out a small laugh. "Although that seemed to have backfired anyway."

"Besides," Maura continued. "I should be the one thanking you."

"For?"

"For saving me from having to answer the girlfriend question."

Jane went rigid for a split second, her face like she was caught in the headlights. "I'm not sure…"

"Oh save it," Maura teased. "I know you were watching from down the hall. Why else do you think I gave her more chocolate chips that a child should ever have in a single sitting."

"Well, now who's the detective," she said with a laugh.

"I've learned from the best."

Maura propped up on her toes. Jane dipped down a touch. Their lips meeting in the middle. The kiss was soft and warm and easy like Saturday's were meant to be.

"I want you to know that I meant what I said last night," Jane started when they pulled away. "We want to be that next part of your life. For always. If you still want that."

"I do. I really really do."

Maura pulled at the back of Jane's neck, drawing them in once again. Both of them wanting a kiss long and slow and deep, but a shout from the neighboring room put pause to their movements.

"Yay! Real girlfriends," Elle exclaimed, crouched on the couch, the top of her head and eyes peeking out over the back of the cushion.

Their smiles broke them apart. Jane kissed her on the forehead. Maura grabbed for Janes hand, bringing it up to press a kiss to her palm before turning back to breakfast.

"So, when are we eating these pancakes? I'm starving."

Jane moved behind Maura, wrapping her arms around her waist. Chin settling on her shoulder. And after a quick glance to ensure that little eyes were focused back on cartoons, she gave a soft nibble to Maura's ear, earning a hushed squeal.

"Soon, but I can't focus on making them with you doing that."

"They're just circles," she tried.

"You underestimate your ability to distract me."

"Fine, fine," she relented. "Elle, how about you help me with the table?"

Maura watched as the rest of the morning came together. As Elle helped gather plates and silverware. As Jane asked if she wanted milk or juice. Mesmerized by the giggles and kisses and hugs. And like she had mentioned to Jane the night before, thoughts of her daughter sprung to mind along with the gut feeling that had she been there, she too would be exactly the same as the little girl that was running around before her.


	6. Chapter 6

Ummm, so this is the first time I've been truly nervous to post because well it's not the best, but what can ya do sometimes. Let's just get through this one. As a teaser to get you to come back, I promise the next chapter is the one most of you've been waiting for.

* * *

She loved being a detective. There was no question about it. But there were so many times when she wished it didn't pull her away from her family. When she wished that the leads they found and the suspects they tracked down and cases they broke open could happen during normal business hours.

Korsak called with a lead on their current suspect before they could finish their evening. A simple Friday night dinner and movie at Maura's. Rather than recruiting her mother to watch Elle, Maura had assured her it was alright if she stayed with her. Jane promised to be back as soon, leaving them both with a quick peck to each of their cheeks. She let out a sigh, her breath visible in the cold January air, when she realized her goodbye had been four hours before.

She grimaced, softly closing the front door behind her. In part because the pain was beginning to rise above the adrenaline that had been shielding her up until that point. She knew it occasionally came with the job. A cut or bruise, sometimes even a gunshot. But mainly it was because it was the first time she had been injured since Maura came into their lives. And she had an unsettling suspicion that she wouldn't particularly like the state she was in.

It took only a moment for her to find her two favorite people. Jane stood at the doorway soaking in the scene before her. Maura was seated on the edge of the bed that Elle had declared her own when they occasionally stayed over. She hummed softly, running a single finger through Elle's hair. She didn't think she would ever tire from the small magical moments.

"I hope she didn't give you too much trouble."

"No, no. Although the incentive of an extra story may have contributed…" Maura's hushed words stalled on her lips as she turned around. A small gasp was all that managed to escape.

Jane knew there was just enough light to make out her injuries, though she was certain the casted shadows made them appear worse than they truly were. She tried a soft grin to ease the evident worry radiating from Maura, but it didn't work as she hoped.

"Jane…" Maura exhaled. Her eyes jumped between deepening bruises and cuts caked with dry blood. She moved cautiously towards her, both to ensure Elle didn't wake, but also because she feared Jane would spook if she moved any faster. Like a wounded animal flees from help.

Her hand extended out automatically, but as much as she wanted the contact between them, she stopped, pulling back, before her fingers touched Jane's cheek. It was suddenly too much. Her chest constricted as her mind raced through worrisome thoughts. The most prominent, how close had Jane come to being on one of her tables in the morgue.

"What happened?" Her shaky breath betrayed the strong front she was trying to show.

Jane set her hand on her lower back, guiding them to the kitchen. Maura waited for her to say something, watching as Jane's eyes looked everywhere but towards her own.

"Jane?"

"Would you believe me if I said I slipped on some ice?" The frown on Maura's face told her she found no humor in her attempt to lessen her concern.

She let out a soft breath. "The suspect we went to question ran and it got a little rougher than I thought it would."

"And you didn't go to the hospital to seek medical treatment?"

"Maura, they're just some scrapes right? Plus it's a full moon."

"These are more than just scrapes." She said with a shake of her head and growing frustration. "And I fail to see how the lunar phase has any influence on your decision to avoid necessary medical care."

"Everyone knows that hospitals get flooded with crazy people, more so than normal, when it's a full moon. Besides, I trust you more than any doctor on duty in this city."

Maura stepped closer. Gently, she set her hand under Jane's chin, pushing and pulling as she assessed Jane's injuries from different angles. Her eyes fell to each cut, staring longer than necessary as worry held her firmly in its grasp.

"Jane, these lacerations are deep. I don't think I can… You really need to go to a hosp-"

"Please, Maura," Jane interjected. "I know I should have gone to a hospital, but after tonight all I wanted was to come home and tuck in our daughter and kiss you and eat those cookies hidden in the back of the pantry." She set her hand on Maura's forearm, running her thumb back and forth a couple of times. "Please, Maur. Think you can stich me up?"

She stood frozen with shock. Jane's words rang loudly in her ears. No, not words. Word. One she determined Jane wasn't aware she said, so buried within her explanation. But it didn't go unnoticed by her. Our.

"Maura?"

"Sure," she managed, quickly finding her bag of medical supplies she kept for emergencies, realizing it was the first time she actually needed to use it. "I don't have any local anesthetic, so this may hurt."

Jane nodded, a grimace already upon her face. Maura worked swiftly, as she tried her best to focus on the stitches and not the sharp intakes of breath that Jane occasionally sucked in.

"This one may leave a small scar," she explained as she applied a small amount of ointment to the cut near Jane's eyebrow. "I didn't see any debris, so your chance of infection is low and they should heal quite well. Although you will certainly have widespread bruising, especially along your side."

"It's too bad this didn't happen a few months ago, I could have passed it all off as leftover Halloween makeup."

Maura gave a single nod. Lips pursed. Jaw tense. A spark in her eyes. Clearly upset as she moved to pack away the unused supplies.

"Hey, what's wrong? What did I say?" An unwelcome alarm settled on her shoulders as she watched Maura tensely turn away.

With her back still turned, Maura answered. "I don't understand how you can joke about this."

"Maura, they're just a couple of scrapes and bruises."

"They're not, Jane," she said sharply, swiveling back around. "If this were two inches lower it could have cut your eye and adversely affected your sight. Or, if you were hit harder along your side, you could have broken a rib or punctured a lung. And what if it hadn't been fists? What if they had a weapon? This is serious, why don't you see that?"

"I do. Trust me. I do."

Maura dropped her head and shook a couple of times, recognizing the harshness of her tone.

"Sorry, I know you do." She looked back up and Jane's heart dropped, recognizing the fear in her clenched jaw and in her wide eyes and now trembling fingers. "It's just you need to be careful. Elle, she needs you. I've suffered through the pain that comes with loss and I can't tell you how important it is that you are here fore her. She needs you to be here."

"I know Maura," her words came out in a whisper. "She won't lose me. I promise."

Jane traced the back of her finger along Maura's cheek. There was so much more to Maura's words. Unspoken but heavy. And she knew it came from a place of fear. The idea had crossed her mind the more they had grown close to one another. What if the unthinkable happened to either of them? It sent a shudder down her neck.

"You won't lose me either."

Jane's words steadied her. Suddenly the worry forgotten. And as the fear dissipated, she needed to make sure Jane felt the same. Because she had seen what Jane had tried so mightily to hide when she had stood in Elle's doorway earlier. Her own fear. Uncertainty. A looming sense that maybe it was too much for her to accept.

"I could say the same to you." Jane raised in eyebrow, her lips turning downward to a slight frown in confusion. "I need you to know you won't lose me either. Promise."

Her eyes became soft. Each blink erasing the flecks of guilt and well-hidden fear that rimmed the edges. As if it were all she needed to hear.

"Thank you."

Maura nodded, setting her hand over Jane's.

"You know Elle and I never finished the movie, we could watch that if you'd like?"

"Yeah. That's perfect."

The made their way to the couch. Finding their usual positions. Jane's arm around her shoulder. Maura curled into her side, although not wrapped as tightly. A welcome comfort of being close to one another. But it wasn't quite the same. A distraction lingering between them. And Jane stopped her steady tracing of her finger over Maura's shoulder and grabbed for the remote, turning off the TV.

"Thinking pretty hard over there?"

Maura nodded against her shoulder. "What gave me away?"

"The movie has a time traveling car and you've made no comments on the scientific improbabilities, or anything, for the past 20 minutes. Want to talk about it?"

Jane watched as Maura mulled her thoughts over further, shifting under her arm, clearly trying to determine whether or not to divulge them. And at first she believed it was something to do with her injuries, but after another moment she could see it was something else.

"It's nothing. I probably misheard and I'm just over analyzing."

"I meant it."

She looked up to find Jane's warm grin.

"What?" Confusion spread across her face, because there was certainly no way they were speaking of the same thing.

"I meant it," Jane continued, voice tender and full of rasp. "When I called Elle our daughter. She is ours. And I hope I didn't scare you…"

Maura cut her off with a kiss. Her soft lips pressed as firmly against Jane's. Her hands ghosted along her neck, making sure her touch was light against bruising skin. Only breaking them apart because she wanted to hear the word once more.

"Ours."

"Yeah, ours."

* * *

She would have been lying if she said she never thought about Sarah. It hadn't happened many times since she and Maura had started their relationship, but they came and went. More frequently since she had been injured a couple of months back. Since she had shared everything with Maura after they had spoken about Elle. Their Elle.

Sometimes they were memories, but mostly she would play out conversations between them. Come up with all the questions she needed answers to. Yell, cry, pull close and never let go. But they were fiction. She had accepted they would always be.

And so she froze in the middle of the dry goods aisle at the grocery store when her name was called from the unforgettable voice that had always been opposite her own in those thoughts.

"Jane?"

Slowly she looked over her shoulder. Her grip on the cart tightened, knuckles going white, before she turned around completely.

"Sarah?" She breathed out. Her volume trailing off as the word took out all the air left in her lungs.

The woman moved a few steps closer and Jane had to keep herself from flinching in shock that she now stood only a few feet away from someone that was once her entire world. Who shattered that world and broke her heart.

"How have you been?"

Her mind was blank. Overwhelmed by how casual and unaffected Sarah seemed. She didn't answer, little hands grabbing for her sleeve.

"Ma, what's next on our list?"

Jane shook her head, breaking her stare away from eyes she once knew so well. She ran her hand through Elle's unruly waves and it was only then that Elle noticed the other woman.

"You must be Elle," Sarah said with a bright smile.

Elle nodded in return.

"You are so big and grown up now."

"I'm seven. I'll be eight in three months."

"Wow. I remember when your mom was just about to adopt you. You must have been this tiny," she said, holding her hands apart to show just how small she would have been.

Jane's stomach flipped in her gut. A mix of anger and pain and sadness.

"Elle, why don't you go pick out some pasta?"

Jane watched as she raced halfway down the aisle to the shelves that held an absurd amount of options. And for that split second she forgot about the woman a few steps away, until it crashed back into her with a force that left her brimming with emotions she wished had stayed tucked away.

"She's beautiful, Jane."

"Stop," she growled. It was controlled, but just barely.

"What? I can't…"

Jane took a step forward, eyes narrowed.

"No, you can't. You don't get to say anything about her or me or… not after everything."

Sarah nodded and let her head fall a moment before looking back up to meet Jane's fiery stare.

"You're still hurt."

Jane scoffed causing Sarah to flinch. For a moment Jane was glad for the effect she was clearly making, but the feeling of heartbreak settled back into her chest and her eyes softened. Not forgiving or understanding. Just lessening the coldness.

"Ma?" The shout came from where Elle still stood down the aisle. "Can I pick the swirly noodles?"

She turned and gave a half-smile to wide and expectant eyes.

"Hold on, I'll be right there." Jane looked back at Sarah. "I should go."

"Wait," Sarah tried, her hand shooting out, almost grabbing for Jane's arm before she thought better of it. "Can we talk? Please."

Jane stared. Quiet and questioning. Uncertainty building within her. Because her instant reply was to agree, but there was also the looming feeling that it perhaps wasn't the best idea. But she needed answers. Things she could only get from her.

"Remember the Dirty Robber? I'll be there around six. Maybe I'll see you then."

Sarah nodded. She understood it was the closest thing she would get to a formal invitation.

Jane turned, not waiting for a response. But as shattered as she felt for the first couple of steps away from the woman, she was instantly put back together at the sight at the end of the aisle. What looked to be the entire selection of pasta boxes and bags precariously balanced in Elle's small arms. A goofy grin spread across her face as Jane got closer.

"I couldn't pick, so I got one of each."

"I can see that," she said with a laugh. "I don't think we need this much, bug."

"Why not?"

"Well, I think if we tried to eat this much pasta, we might turn into noodles ourselves."

Elle laughed and Jane was certain all the packages were about to end up on the ground. She reached for a couple at the top of the teetering tower just to make sure they didn't.

"That can't happen."

"How do you know? We've never tried."

Elle's eyes grew wide. Excitement and mischief filling her eyes.

"Can we?"

"Maybe another time. Let's just stick to what Nonna needs for tomorrow, huh?"

"Okay," Elle agreed.

She tossed the couple packages of penne into the cart and helped Elle put all the others back in their correct places on the shelves. Almost forgetting about the run-in moments before.

"Ma, who was that lady?"

Her chest constricted for a split second, forcing her to breathe in deeply to relax again.

"Just an old friend."

"Does she make you sad?"

Jane smiled softly, not surprised that her extremely perceptive daughter had managed to pick that up despite her best efforts to hide it.

"Maybe a little."

"It's good that Mo gets to spend tonight and the whole day with us tomorrow then," she beamed, climbing onto the end of the cart.

"Yes it is." And she really couldn't have been more grateful. "Let's see what else we need."

She took a quick glance at her watch. Five after six. Frankie stood from the booth, throwing his jacket on as Sarah walked in. He stopped, his eyes growing cold as she moved closer to the all too familiar spot in the bar.

"Janie," he grumbled.

Jane looked around him, eyes falling to the person she hadn't been able to keep her mind off of since that morning. Questions plaguing her the entire day.

"Want me to…" he started.

"No, it's alright Frankie. I've got it."

As she approached she gave a soft 'hi' to which he dismissed with a grunt. It didn't surprise her. The Rizzoli clan had always been protective of one another. She hadn't only hurt Jane, but all of them. She slipped into the empty side of the booth and Jane motioned to the bartender for another round.

"I wasn't sure if you would actually be here," Sarah started, breaking the silence within the loud bar.

"Well, you said you wanted to talk so…" She tried to sound indifferent, distant.

"Yeah, right. I know I did. It's just… thank you."

"Sure."

They fell quiet again. Jane's eyes still narrowed, her jaw set and tense. Sarah knew she would have to be the first one to start the conversation. Jane had always been guarded, even with her, and she could only imagine how much higher those walls had become over the passing years.

"I'm guessing you'd rather skip the small talk, so I'll just cut to it," she began, fumbling with her fingers. "I know how the things between us were left and… and that's entirely my fault. I never meant to tear away like I did or cause you…" she trailed off, but Jane knew the words that had been left unspoken. She never meant to cause the pain she had.

She cleared her throat and adjusted her shoulders to compose herself.

"I'm just so sorry Jane. I'm not sure how many other ways there are to say it, or how many times I need to tell you, but I truly am."

"Funny, because that's the first time you've actually said it."

The words came out sharp but there was no bite behind them. No fight like she thought there would be. Jane took a sip of beer and shook her head. Gaze falling to the table before looking back up. Eyes wide and questioning.

"I just want to know why?" Jane's words come out just louder than a whisper.

"Why what?"

"Why everything. Why you left? Why you wouldn't take or return any of my calls? I thought we were happy and I just want to know why it all fell apart."

Sarah ran her finger up and down the neck of the beer bottle.

"I'm not sure where to start."

"I thought we had a plan," said Jane.

"We did," Sarah nodded. "We did, but that was all I was ready for Jane."

Jane stayed quiet and Sarah took it as her cue to continue.

"We were so young and… and I know we were making plans for our future, but I thought that was all they were going to be for a while. Just plans. Even when we were filling out adoption applications I thought it would take time. But then you were actually adopting a baby and seriously talking about marriage… I got scared Jane. I wasn't ready."

Jane let out the breath she didn't know she was holding. The words settled between them.

"Why didn't you just tell me this? I would have slowed down."

Sarah shook her head. "But slowing down would have meant not adopting Elle. Would you really have done that if I asked?"

"No. I wouldn't have." Her answer was instant.

A weak smile fell to Sarah's face. She had known her so well back then.

"I know and that's why I left. I couldn't make you think you had to choose, and I couldn't stay and risk feeling trapped or resentful or anything that came with me staying where I didn't fit."

Jane wiped the heal of her palm swiftly across the bottom of her eyes, catching the few tears before they slipped any further. Sarah's breath caught for a moment as she watched before she continued.

"And as awful as it was, the only way I could do that was by completely breaking away. You don't know the number of times I wanted to answer just to hear your voice. Or how I'd sob for hours after each call because it felt like my heart was being ripped open again. I know you deserved an answer, some closure back then, but I couldn't give it without completely crumbling."

They both stayed quiet. Jane replayed Sarah's words in her head. Struck by how similar they were to her own story back then.

"Jane?"

"I didn't realize…" her voice came out shaky and cracked, and she swallowed hard before starting again. "All these years I have been so angry with you. Wondering how you could just leave us. Leave me. But now… now I understand."

The words brought with them a peace that had evaded her. And in that moment thoughts of Maura flooded her. How if everything hadn't unfolded the way it had, she and Elle wouldn't have her in their lives. And that was something she couldn't imagine. Didn't want to imagine.

"Will you tell me about her?" Sarah's words pulled her back.

"Elle?"

She nodded.

"She's everything," Jane beamed.

The conversation moved like they had never stopped speaking. The dynamic was different, but still carried with ease. Topics of careers and life and family filled the space between them. Time slipped by without much notice until it started to naturally come to a close.

Jane pulled at the label of one of the beer bottles that sat empty on the table. A feeling it would be the last she saw of her, and she needed to say one last thing.

"I really loved you."

"I know. I felt the same. But you have someone now. Someone who you love so much more than you ever did me."

Jane looked up a little stunned. "What?"

"Oh c'mon Jane. I knew you pretty well once and I know there's someone. She's laced most of your recent stories even if you haven't outright told me about her."

A smile tugged at the corner of Jane's lips.

"I haven't…"

"Told her?" Jane nodded. "Well, even if you haven't told her yet, you have to know that you do. You love her and I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you."

Jane looked at the time, Maura would be heading over soon so they could go back to her place dinner, and explained she needed to leave. They stood from the booth and exchanged pleasant goodbyes. Jane offered to walk her out, but Sarah declined, saying she was going to have another drink at the bar. Jane took a step away before a gentle hand found her arm and she turned.

"Hey, how about one last on for the road?"

That had been their thing. A quick kiss for the road. And before she had the chance to answer, decline, react, Sarah's lips were on hers as she stood ramrod straight and still. Not kissing back. Stunned and frozen. And then it was over and Sarah made her way through the throng of patrons.

Jane stumbled back a few steps and pressed her fingers to her lips. The feeling of Sarah's lips on hers was exactly the same as years before, but it felt wrong. Different. And it didn't take a moment to realize it was because her lips weren't Maura's.

She smiled as she thought about how all she wanted was Maura's lips on hers. There was no one else. Only her. But it quickly disappeared as her gaze fell to where Maura stood in the open door. Her confused and hurt stare enough to break Jane. And before she could make her feet move, Maura vanished back outside. Nowhere to be found once Jane chased her way after her.

She wasn't sure how long she sat on Maura's porch. Long enough to feel numb. The soggy mist and cold air clung to every fiber of her clothes and seeped deep into her core. But she didn't care.

The only movement she made was when Maura finally pulled up, the headlights of her car blinding her for a few seconds. Enough time for her to straighten up and attempt to find words for everything that had been ricocheting in her head.

"Maur-" Jane started, but didn't get any further. A deep shudder from the cold, both the weather's and Maura's, forcing her to stop.

Maura paused on the steps. She didn't miss the involuntary shiver from Jane. And though she wanted to ask how long she had been sitting out in the wet cold, another question came out entirely.

"Was it Sarah?" Her words were soft.

No hint of anger or jealousy as she recalled the evening Jane had opened up to her about her. About how they had met during the single semester she had attended BCU before joining the academy. About how she had been the first girl she had brought home to meet her family and how she had been there for the fallout that followed with her father. About how they had made plans and found Elle only for her to disappear and leave Jane heartbroken.

"Maur…"

"Was she Jane?"

"Yes, but…"

Maura took a step back. Tears welled in her eyes and she dropped her head, unwilling to let Jane see the hurt she caused. Slowly she turned towards the front door.

"No, no. Maura please let me explain. It wasn't what you think." If she wasn't so panicked, she was certain she would have cringed at her own words.

She shook her head.

"It wasn't you kissing another woman in a bar?" Her words are calm. Defeated almost. And Jane was so much more afraid because of it. "A woman you once thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. Who you were going to have a family with. Raise Elle with. That wasn't what was happening?"

"Just let me explain. Please, Maura. Please."

Jane held her breath. She wanted to reach out and take Maura's hand. Run her thumb over her knuckles like Maura always did to her. But she didn't. Afraid it would only cause more distance. And it was only when Maura took a half step back towards her that she finally exhaled.

"I never thought…"

"That you would kiss her?"

"That I'd see her again. And that doesn't excuse what happened because clearly I hurt you and that was never… I would never do that Maura," she trailed off, shaking her head. Upset by the thought of harming the woman she loved. "I just need you to know everything."

Maura inched closer and gave a single nod. Eyes wary and full of unshed tears.

"I haven't heard from her in almost eight years. And then this morning she was standing in front of me asking me how I've been. As if she hadn't completely destroyed my life all those years ago. Just hearing her say my name brought up feelings and memories I had buried when she left. Things that belonged with her. And for a split second there was this… nostalgia. An involuntary mix of old promises and wants and dreams."

She stopped. Guilt weighing heavy as she said the words aloud. She hadn't wanted to feel that. Hadn't thought she would ever share it. And she had already hurt Maura, she didn't want to any further.

Maura set her hand on Jane's forearm. "Keep going."

Jane nodded.

"And then Elle came running up and the look on Sarah's face, it was enraging. I can't tell you the number of times I had that look on my face as Elle was growing up. From first steps to 'A's on spelling tests, every time she does something I'm amazed. And I thought I had let go of it, but suddenly it hit me again with such a force. Sarah, she was supposed to have been there for all of it too. That look wasn't supposed to have been a one-time thing in a grocery store years later.

"I just… I thought I had the answers I needed, but seeing her again, I just wanted closure. A real ending to everything we had. Does that make any sense?"

"Yes, it does," Maura whispered. Her thoughts traveled to the day she woke in the hospital. Her mother's blunt and incomplete words. What she would have given for more closure and better answers. How she still wished for that even though she knew it would never come. That there was nothing that would provide that for her. She understood Jane's need perfectly.

"Did you get them? The answers?"

"Yeah, I did."

A tense silence settled between them. Maura processed. Jane waited until she couldn't take it any longer.

"Maura, that kiss, it meant nothing. I promise. It was a last goodbye that I wasn't expecting."

She began to shake her head and Jane's stomach dropped. She felt like her world was spinning out of control. Unable to stop the paralyzing thoughts that everything they had together was about to end because of something so incredibly stupid and meaningless.

"Jane, you were smiling. That's the most upsetting part."

"What?" she croaked out.

"I saw the kiss and now I can rationalize the context behind it, but it doesn't explain what you did after. You touched your lips and smiled so big, it…it was like you were a kid on Christmas. No one does that if they don't feel something. If there wasn't some giddiness and want and amazement."

A few tears slipped from the corner of her eyes and Jane chanced it as she reached out and gently wiped them away.

"You're right," she started, taking half a step closer. "Everything you just said is exactly what I felt. What I was thinking. But it wasn't about Sarah. Maura, after that kiss all I could think about was you.

"I touched my lips because I needed to make sure they could still feel." Her words caused Maura to furrow her brow. "When I kiss you Maur, my lips light on fire. They buzz and electrify me and… I can't explain it. I smiled because you are the only person to ever make me feel like that. You're the only person I ever want to kiss again."

The words filled her. Had her bursting with the need to continue even though it wasn't the time or place or situation she had thought her next words would come out in.

"Sarah said something to me tonight. Something I already knew, that I've known for a while but haven't told you yet. And sopping wet with this distance between us is not how I planned on saying this. And now it feels like I'm just saying it to make up for this misunderstanding but it isn't… it isn't."

Her voice had dwindled to a whisper as she looked down and fiddled with her fingers. Maur first thought it was to warm them, but it only took a second for her to realize it's from nerves.

"Jane?"

She looked up and Maura swallowed back a gasp. The look in Jane's eyes is so full, emotions pouring from her gaze. No person had ever looked at her like that.

"I love you. I'm so in love with you Maura. And I'm not sure what's going to happen next, but I needed you to know."

Maura took a couple of steps backwards, stumbling in shock as though she had been struck. She dropped her head, giving a couple of shakes in disbelief that Jane had spoken those words to her. Her mind went numb. Any reaction she had swallowed by her inability to do anything in reply.

Jane nodded, taking the quiet as her answer. She hated how much silence stung. And quietly she walked back to her car and drove off.

It was only the rumble of the engine and the sound of wet tires on the pavement that pulled Maura out of the place she retreated to. The three words echoing in her head. Jane's words. She sat down on the stoop, mirroring Jane from earlier, not caring about ruining her slacks.

The whole evening replayed on a loop. The kiss. The hurt. The explanation. The 'I love you'. It circled around and around until she was spinning. And the only thing that centered her was the thought of Jane and how she loved her back.

* * *

Maura sat at Jane's kitchen counter. She had let herself in with the key Jane had given her during the holidays. It had meant so much then. It still did. And she hoped it was okay. That She wouldn't be kicked out immediately after what had transpired the night before.

She had brought donuts and coffee to try and ensure that didn't happen. Because there were things she needed to say. But if Jane didn't want to see her, at least she had cleaned up a bit. The single wine glass rinsed and washed. The empty bottle tossed in the recycling bin.

The house was quiet as she expected, but she knew not for much longer. As if on cue, a beeping noise and mumbled groan with mild expletives came from down the hall. She sipped her coffee as Jane entered and her heart skipped a beat. Jane with wild hair and half open eyes, wearing boyshorts and an oversized BPD T-shirt reaffirmed what she came to say. Needed to say.

"Jesus!" Jane gasped, startled by Maura's quiet presence. "God Maur, don't do that. I could have shot you or something."

"Your gun is in its normal resting spot. I checked."

"Well still…" She trailed off and moved closer, keeping the counter between them. "I could have had my back up."

Maura ignored the comment and stayed quiet, looking over Jane once more. How had she allowed this woman to walk away last night?

"You look… tired."

"Yeah, well I didn't get a ton of sleep last night. It took a while for the bottle of wine to kick in."

Maura frowned. She didn't like the picture that sprung to mind of Jane drinking away last night because she didn't speak up. Didn't keep her from leaving before she could say anything.

"You know excessive alcohol consumption at that level can be extremely detrimental to your overall health," she said nervously.

"So can telling someone how you really feel."

The moment the words were off her lips she dropped her head, placing her hands on the counter and leaning forward. She took a deep breath and reminded herself that last night hadn't been Maura's fault. It was her own and she couldn't take it out on anyone else.

"What are you doing here?"

Her voice isn't hostile, guarded rather, with hints of panic and lingering hurt.

"I brought breakfast."

"Sugar and caffeine." Jane took the cup in her hand and ran her finger around the plastic lid and couple of times trying to sort the things in her head. "Thank you, really, but it still doesn't answer my question. Why are you here Maura?"

Maura stood from her seat and walked to stand next to her. She placed her hand over Jane's and looked up to meet her eyes.

"Last night, after you said… you didn't let me reply before you left."

"I thought the silence said everything," she whispered.

Maura squeezed her hand. "No, it didn't. I promise you my lack of verbal response was nothing more than shock and absolute, utter confusion."

Jane searched her face as she fell quiet, confused herself. And after a few seconds, she couldn't take it anymore.

"Is that what's happening here? Because now I'm the one confused." Her words were light and joking and instantly Maura felt herself settle. Felt them both begin to fall into the place they had been before yesterday.

"No," she laughed, taking a deep breath, keeping her gaze locked with Jane's. "Now I'm petrified."

"What?" Hurt washed through the single word. Jane took the last step to close the gap between them, setting her free hand on Maura's hip, Maura's eyes dropped to where it settled. "Of me?"

She looked up quickly at the question, her expression pained by the idea that her words had caused Jane to think that.

"No! Of course not." Her words died quickly and Jane could see there was much that she wanted to say.

"You can tell me whatever it is Maura."

She nodded. Her fingers fumbled with Jane's for a moment before she started.

"You're not the first person to ever say those words to me," she said softly. The concern in Jane's eyes was overwhelming. It was just one of the ways Maura knew she showed her love without speaking a word. It was how she was certain the next part of her sentence was true. "But you're the first person I've ever believed genuinely meant them."

"That can't be…"

"True?" Maura stopped her. "It is, Jane."

She shook her head. "My parents… they said it in passing the handful of times we were ever in the same house together as I was growing up. It was occasionally written on holiday cards they remembered to send me. But there was never anything behind the words. They were always empty. Said because they knew it was what they were supposed to do. Not because of how they felt.

"In high school, my boyfriend at the time said it, and I was so desperate to hold onto the idea that someone actually cared that I decided anything was worth it to keep him. We had sex for the first time later that week and then he broke up with me. And…"

Maura fell quiet and Jane watched to see if she was simply recalling more memories those three words had been spoken to her, but somehow she could see that she had reached the end of the list. And that thought had her desperately wishing she could object. That there had to be more times than that. More people than that. That somehow there was a mistake because she was the most lovable, caring, deserving person Jane knew.

A sheet of tears glassed over her eyes to match Maura's. And though she wanted to speak, she waited, seeing Maura prepare to continue.

"It is easy for me to rationalize that individuals cannot realistically love someone they don't know well. I can understand that. But to be incapable of being loved by family and lovers… it's the worst pain possible. I became very good at keeping a distance between myself and everyone.

"But then there was you. And everything I had conditioned myself to do seemed to slip away without me realizing. So last night, when you told me you loved me and I could see you actually meant the words… I didn't know what to do. My whole life I'd spent trying to earn those words, and I never had to try with you. But suddenly there they were.

"I was overcome by… god, by everything. I'm still trying to sort through it all. And then you were gone."

"Maura I thought…" she tried through her complete shock.

She gave a gentle squeeze. "You don't need to explain. I understand, I do. But even if this is too late or, or… I need you to understand something as well."

Jane nodded, clung to her every word.

"I love you too."

A warmth found them both. Settled between them in every nook and cranny. Jane was certain her eyes were sparkling. Maura felt her whole body buzz. Both of them becoming lighter as their smiles spread slowly across their faces. Complete, pure, sheer joy bouncing between them.

Their lips recited the perfected dance between them. Growing and becoming deeper. Hands roaming and grasping and keeping them close. The giddiness they both felt caused their smiles to spread so wide again, that they broke the kiss. Resting their foreheads against one another.

"Your lips taste sweeter than usual," Jane said after catching her breath.

Maura grinned. Leave it to the detective to notice something like that.

"I had a glazed donut hole before arriving."

Jane pulled back, playfully scrunching her brow and narrowing her eyes.

"I don't think it's that."

Maura mimicked Jane's expression. Hers one of genuine confusion.

"Jane, there is no other reasonable explanation. My coffee is unsweetened and my lip balm is the same as it's always been. It must be residual sugar."

"I'm not convinced. For purely detective reasons, can I try again?"

"Please."

Jane captured Maura's lips and once again the kiss grew into something larger. Jane pinned her to the counter as Maura moved her hand to the base of Jane's neck. Both panting as the pull apart. Each of them needing a moment to open their eyes.

"Nope," Jane rasped. "Definitely not because of the donut."

"Well, I'm not sure what else to attribute it to."

She pushed back some of Maura's hair that had fallen into her face. A contagious grin on her face.

"I figured it out though."

"Did you?"

The banter between them is light and free and Maura can't help but feel there was a joke somewhere on the horizon.

"It's because you said you love me."

Maura smiled if only to keep herself from melting into a puddle. A blush appeared across Jane's cheeks, and she committed the sight to memory.

"Too cheesy?"

"No," she whispered. And while it was a little corny, it was somehow completely raw and exposing. Maura reached up and gently set her hand on Jane's still pink cheek, cherishing the way Jane leaned into her touch.

Her eyes were fierce and soft. A mix of wild and home. And Maura could see Jane was completely lost in her.

"What are you thinking?" Maura asked, seeing something flash within those eyes.

"After yesterday, I can't believe I get to kiss the woman I love."

Maura put her other hand to Jane's face and pulled her close to press another kiss to her lips. One short and sweet.

"For forever Jane."

Jane pulled her close and Maura sank into the comfort of the arms wrapped around her. She settled her head against Jane's chest and let herself become lost to her constant heartbeat. Neither of them certain how long they stayed that way. Little shuffling footsteps the only thing that pulled them away.

"Mo!"

A blur streaked the last little bit into the kitchen and Maura was instantly wrapped around the waist. Gripped tight by little arms.

"Good morning. Thank you."

"I missed you."

She leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. It had been less than 24 hours since she had last seen Elle, but that idea made her heart swell.

"Maura brought breakfast."

"Donuts!" She squealed, seeing the box on the counter.

"There is a carton of chocolate milk in the refrigerator as well," Maura offered.

Elle raced to the fridge, singing a song she made up on the spot about donuts and chocolate milk. Maura and Jane pulled themselves close. Jane took her hand while Maura set her head on her shoulder as they watched Elle make the daunting choice of which donut to eat first.

Maura couldn't hold back the sigh. Completely content in the moment. This was what life and love really was. And there was nothing that could tear what they had apart.


	7. Chapter 7

If I named my chapters, this one would something along the lines of 'Discovered truths leave shattered lives' Poor Maura.

* * *

"What? Is she alright? Did something happen?" Her voice flooded with concern as the woman on the other end of the line continued to speak. "Alright, umm… yeah, I can be there in twenty minutes."

The line went dead and she tossed her phone on her desk, both Frost and Korsak startled by the noise. They shared a cautious and curious look with one another as Jane stood from her desk and threw her jacket around her shoulders.

"Everything okay?" Frost asked warily.

She let out a frustrated sigh as she shuffled a few papers around her desk in an attempt to find her keys. Only looking up to them both once she had them, running her hand through her hair to collect herself.

"Elle got in trouble at school. She got sent to the principal's office. I've got to go pick her up."

"Elle? Trouble?" Korsak said shocked.

Jane shook her head with the same disbelief.

"I'll be back with the little criminal in a bit."

* * *

The car ride back to the precinct was silent. Jane had looked back in the rear view mirror a few times always to find Elle staring out the window. There was no need to scold. Her daughter had always been one to discipline herself more than she ever would. Rather, she just wanted to understand what had set off her rational and too wise for her years little girl she knew was always so kind.

They settled near a bench outside the building, taking advantage of the beginning of spring weather.

"Want to tell me about what happened?"

Elle firmly shook her head no in return, gaze fallen upon her own lap. Jane knelt in front of her, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and it was only then that Elle looked up and met Jane's eyes. Her heart practically shattered.

"Elle, I can only help if I understand. And to understand I need you to tell me what upset you so much you would punch a classmate in the stomach."

Tears began to fill Elle's eyes, her lip quivering, and she launched herself into Jane's arms as she began to cry. Jane instantly wrapped her up. She knew that the tears were mostly from the fact that she had gotten in trouble. A rarity for her. And so she rubbed a few circles on her back as she tried to settle her.

"Shh, it's okay. It's okay."

Slowly Elle pulled back and swiped at her eyes. Jane followed with a gentle brush of her fingers to catch a few of the remaining tears on her daughter's face. She gave her a soft, reassuring smile.

"He said that we weren't a normal family because I'm adopted and I only have one real parent," she started, a small hiccup escaping before she continued. "He said that doesn't count as a family. And I tried to tell him that's not true. Because it doesn't matter if you don't share blood or the number of parents you have. It just matters that you love each other. That's what you told me."

Jane leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Elle's forehead. The world was unfair and people were cruel, children even, and she wished above all else it was moments like this she could protect her from.

"You are exactly right. That is all that matters. And I love you so, so much."

Elle sniffled, her watery eyes still glued to her.

"And I'm going to tell you something that sometimes people forget. Every family, no matter how normal they appear, is unique and different and usually a little strange," she gave a little poke into Elle's side, earning a small giggle. "I think we are a perfect family, and people aren't always going to agree with that, but we can't go around hitting people because of it."

Elle nodded, but Jane could see there was more running around in her head.

"Elle?"

"That wasn't why I hit him."

"Then why sweetheart?"

"I tried to tell him he was wrong. Because he said I only have one parent, but I have two now. I told him I have two moms. He said that was even more bad. That his parents told him that having two moms is a bad thing. And I kept trying to say it was okay but he wouldn't listen. He wouldn't stop saying how bad it was.

"He's wrong, right?"

"Yes. There is nothing bad with families that have two moms or two dads."

Elle's eyes sparkled at the reassurance, staring as if waiting for Jane to continue. And when she didn't she started again.

"But he's wrong about the other part too, right? I have two moms. I can count Mo as my mom, right?"

Jane let out something that sounded like a strangled cough. The question caught her completely off guard. But after the initial shock wore off her heart swelled. Memories of the "our" conversation replaying in her mind. How much that had meant then. How much knowing Elle felt the same now. If she could have bottled up that feeling it would have been enough to get her through anything.

"Ma?"

She cupped Elle's face and gently pulled her forward, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"You are the best thing that's ever happened to me and I am so lucky I get to share you with Maura. So, yeah bean, I think you have two moms."

The pure joy that radiated off of Elle left her mesmerized. She was certain she had never seen her so happy.

"But I don't think we should tell Mo yet. I want to make her something first. Okay?"

"Okay," she agreed with a chuckle. "How about we go see her while I talk with Frost and Korsak for a minute, huh?"

Elle nodded and they walked hand in hand into the precinct.

"Hi," Jane said, as she lingered in the doorway.

"Jane, hi," she replied, the rest of her mind going blank for a second. She figured she would have been used to the affect Jane had on her, but she wasn't. Her mind instinctively raced through the reasons she was down visiting her before settling on the most logical. "Those toxicology reports won't be ready for a few…"

She shook her head. "No, I'm not here for those."

It was then that Elle peeked around the corner. Jane set her hand on her shoulder as she came to stand next to her, giving a gentle squeeze.

"Hi Mo," her voice bubbly in a way that only Maura seemed to bring out.

"Hi sweetheart." She stood from her desk and moved to meet them. Elle grabbed for her hand once she was close enough, giving a smile bright enough to light the entire building.

"Sorry for dropping down here unexpectedly…" Jane started.

"No, it's alright. This is a wonderful surprise."

Jane could tell she meant it, but there was also a question in her eyes. Both of them knowing she should have been in school.

"Elle, why don't you climb into Maura's chair for a minute while I talk to her in the hall really quick."

She nodded enthusiastically and raced over to her desk. They hadn't taken the two steps out into the hall before she had started spinning herself around as fast as she could.

"Are you sure this is okay? I know you have a lot today."

Maura slipped her hands over Jane's and gave a squeeze.

"Of course it is. I love getting to spend extra time with my two favorite people."

Jane's grin filled her entire face. She wished the morgue had been empty. That there wasn't the chance that the two technicians that assisted Maura would look over at any moment. Because she wanted to pull her close. Show her that she was one of her favorite people too with a kiss.

"But," Maura started again. "As happy as I am to see Elle, I am curious why she isn't attending school."

Jane cleared her throat. Her reply still difficult to wrap her head around. "She hit a classmate."

"What?" Her eyes went wide as if Jane had sprouted another head.

"My reaction exactly. Although I will say it sounded like he deserved it."

"And that reason being?"

"A boy was saying some not so nice things, like how her family wasn't normal because she was adopted and that it is bad she has two…" she cut herself short, her promise to Elle outside keeping her from saying any more.

Maura took a half step closer, curious for the rest of Jane's answer. "Two what?"

She shook her head with a devilishly teasing smile.

"I can't. I've been sworn to secrecy."

Maura narrowed her eyes in protest but could see that Jane wasn't going to give in.

"Alright. Well don't worry, we will be fine until you're back."

"Thank you. I shouldn't be long. How about dinner at our place afterwards?"

Maura didn't answer. Jane's phone buzzed with a text, pulling her attention away.

"I've got to go, but I'll be back soon."

And with a quick glance to check for extra eyes, finding none, she gave a quick kiss to her lips before heading to the elevators.

Elle had never been in Maura's office before, so when she re-entered she found her at the bookcase behind her desk, skimming over the titles on their spines.

"See anything you like?"

She turned and nodded, pointing to one out of her reach. Maura grinned as she followed Elle's finger. _Tales of the Heart: An Exploration into its Form and Function_. She couldn't help the idea of watching Elle grow even more fascinated by medicine. That maybe she would follow her to become a doctor of some sort.

"Ah, good choice," she said as she pulled it down.

"Are there good pictures in it?"

"Very good."

Elle took the large book in her arms, fumbling with it for a moment before she had it firmly in her grasp. Her eyes caught on the bookshelf as she started to turn towards the couch and she stopped. Propped in the middle of one of the shelves sat a framed piece of familiar construction paper.

"That's the family tree I made you at my fall showcase. You still have it?"

Maura pulled it down and Elle traced her finger over the scrawled names in her handwriting.

"Of course I do. This is the best thing anyone has ever given me."

"Really?"

"Really. Do you know how much it meant to me that you decided you wanted me to be a part of your family?" Elle shook her head, intently waiting for her next words. "It made me the happiest I'd been in a really long time."

Elle leaned into her side and Maura dipped to press a kiss to the top of her head.

"I'm glad you're in my family."

"As long as you want me, I'll be here. No matter what, alright?"

"Good."

Maura placed the framed drawing back to its designated spot while Elle scanned the neighboring photos a little closer. Her smile grew as she came across a few that included her and Jane. But then she stopped. Fixated on one off to the far end.

Maura followed her gaze to see that it had settled on the single picture she had displayed of her mother. From an event years ago.

"I know that lady. How come you have a picture of her? Is she famous?"

Maura had to run Elle's words over again in her head. The shock enough to tilt her axis completely. She pulled the frame off the shelf to bring it closer to them. Closer to Elle because certainly she had to be mistaken. There was no way she knew her mother.

"You know her? Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Elle insisted. "I've never seen her in person. But my Ma has a drawing of her. I don't think I'm supposed to know about it though because it's all folded up and put in the hiding spot she has in her closet."

"What?" she choked out. Her head suddenly spinning. "Elle, what is the drawing like?"

She had started to move to the couch. Book in her hand. Her interest clearly shifted.

"Kind of like the ones they draw here."

Her voice trembled as she asked her next question because she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer.

"Like a sketch artist?"

"Yeah," she answered, flipping open the book.

She felt her chest constrict as she recalled the night Jane had told her about Elle's adoption. About the woman she had sketched as potential information they could use if Elle ever wanted to search for her biological family.

She gripped the picture tighter as tears flooded her eyes and blurred her vision. Everything hit her at once as the pieces fell into place. Even without every fact or detail, a truth she knew was accurate. Constance Isles was involved with Elle's adoption. Was Elle's grandmother. Which meant…

Maura looked up and over to the little girl sitting cross legged on her couch. With a book splayed across her lap and wide, curious eyes scanning the pages.

She wanted to convince herself it couldn't be. But it was. She knew it. Elle was her daughter. The baby she had been told had died. That she had grieved over. That she thought of daily.

And if she really thought about it, she supposed she knew from that moment on the bench they had first met. How she had frozen when she saw her. How even though initially she had been incredibly uncomfortable, she had connected with her. Something that hadn't come easily with anyone before.

"Mo?" Maura snapped her attention away from the thundering thoughts, but still found herself under a cloud. "Can you explain all the parts to me?"

"Hmm?" She filled in Elle's waiting silence. Her focus still consumed with coming to terms with everything unfolding before her. And it took all she had to absorb the words Elle spoke.

"The parts of the heart. I like it better when you explain them to me."

Maura nodded. Her movements done on autopilot. But she wasn't sure if she actually could. How was she supposed to discuss the parts of the heart when hers was shattering into a million tiny pieces?

Her hand trembled as she set the photo back on the shelf. Hot tears threatened to spill over and flood her cheeks with anger and loss and pain. With the back of her hand she brushed under her eyes, swiping away any that threatened to fall. She couldn't let Elle… her daughter see them. It would only create questions she knew she wouldn't be able to answer. Questions she wanted answers to as well.

With a deep steadying breath she turned and took a seat on the couch. And it wasn't but a split second later that Elle burrowed into her side, oblivious to her turmoil. Her struggle with the fact that this was the first time she could hold her daughter. That she could kiss her and make it known how much she loves her.

But instead of doing any of those things, she read. She pointed out the chambers of the heart and the valves that regulated the blood flow through them. Anything more than that would have been too much. She needed it to be simple. Because now her life was suddenly complicated. A muddled mess of past and present that left the future cloudy and best. And now it included what once was lost.

* * *

She sat on the couch in her office, curled into one of its corners. It was long past the point of everyone leaving for the day. And for that she was grateful. It meant she didn't need to worry about anyone seeing her red rimmed eyes or hearing the sobs she couldn't manage to stifle.

It had taken everything not to function like a zombie when Jane had come back to her office to pick Elle up. The numbness and confusion and grief had been overwhelming. But she had managed to convince them both she had too much work to finish and couldn't join them for the rest of the day. It may have been the first time she had successfully managed to lie.

The DNA results sat in the middle of the table. A careful collection from Elle's used juice box. Her gaze had become fixed on it for what felt like forever when they first came back confirming the information she had already known to be true. Biological mother and daughter.

Mother and daughter. It ripped her to shreds each time the thought passed through her head. Over and over. On a loop she couldn't stop. Not certain if she would ever be able to get it to stop. How could she?

The questions were deafening. How? Why? Who?

And the crushing part was the unsettling feeling that she could answer them.

Her phone buzzed to see a text from Jane. A picture of her and Elle making the biggest goofy faces they could with a simple 'wish you were here with us'. It was everything. And with trembling fingers her phone slipped out of her hand, clattering to the floor.

It flooded the room with the same crashing that had become her life. Sudden. Disruptive. Broken. She doubled over, dropping her head to her hands and sobbed until she couldn't breathe. The burning in her lungs all that let her know she was still alive.

The loop started again. Her disbelief fought with the facts. And by the time she reached the questions again she was exhausted. Was ready to shut her eyes and block out the world.

But as she did she heard the vibration of her phone on the ground and looked. A look she wished she could have taken back. Because it wasn't Jane or work. Rather it was the answers to all her questions.

To the how and why and who.

And she read the message with boiling blood.

'I'm going to be in Boston in 3 weeks. I've made a dinner reservation for the 22nd. I'll have my assistant forward you all of the information. It will be lovely to see you darling'

Her mother. It was all her. It had to be.


	8. Chapter 8

Her stomach knotted the longer she continued to sit on the wooden bench. Growing tighter and tighter, moving up into her chest until she felt like she might stop breathing. It hadn't gone away since the moment she had pieced everything together. 10 days. And she wondered if it ever would. Probably not.

The paper was like lead in her hands. Heavy as it rested between her fingers. She had found the sketch tucked away in Jane's closet like Elle had mentioned. Squirreling it away when neither of them were home. It was the beginning of her keeping her distance from them both.

She had first convinced herself she hadn't purposefully been avoiding Jane. That she would have had to fulfill the prior commitment she made to the medical forensics conference at Quantico. But she hadn't been able to deny it longer than that. She took a consult case in New York and then a couple of personal days. And even her first day back, today, she had one of her techs run all the results up to homicide.

It was because she still hadn't figured out how to explain it all. How she was supposed to say that Elle was her daughter. That Constance was her mother. That she was grateful and angry and sad and scared. Afraid she would lose it all. Lose them.

And so she closed herself off for the past week and a half. It was an artifact of growing up alone. Her default. Working through everything by herself. She could try to control her own emotions. Her own reaction. But the uncertainty of others had always left her anxious.

"Hey stranger." Jane's voice was soft, but her excitement was still clear.

Maura jumped at the greeting, not expecting anyone, and a wave of confusion washed over her. Even as she watched Jane take a seat next to her on the bench she couldn't seem to entirely grasp the moment. Couldn't get out of her own head and all the tormenting thoughts that had been consuming her. She quickly stuffed the paper into her pocket.

"Jane?"

"Hi," she said, her face beaming. "One of your techs said you had walked this direction for lunch, so I took a chance this was where you might have landed."

She nodded in reply, mustering up a smile that only managed to make it half way up her face. Bile was suddenly rising in her throat at the thought of all she needed to speak with her about.

A concerned frown settled on Jane's face as she watched Maura's internal struggle. It was clear to her that her thoughts were heavy and loud.

"Did I interrupt something?"

"No," Maura shook her head. "Of course not."

Her words were unconvincing.

"Are you sure? Because I can leave if you'd like."

"You weren't Jane. Promise," she tried to reassure, grabbing her hand and pulling it to rest on her thigh. She gave a gentle squeeze for good measure.

Jane's eyes didn't leave Maura's face. As much as she wanted to believe her words, she knew there was something awry. The trouble was evident in Maura's eyes and her smile and the way she was breathing. Against everything in her, Jane decided to go with the answer.

She took a swift look around the park, instantly recalling the memory she knew would always be associated with this place. The park, the bench, her frantic concern and Maura's evident discomfort. All of it rolled together to create their first meeting. Where it all began had started right where they sat.

A smile spread warm across her face, extending high up into her cheeks.

"Do you realize where we are?"

Maura gave a quick glance over. She gave a small nod and smile knowing exactly what Jane was thinking. How simple, yet magical, it had been back then. Now it felt bittersweet. Jane picked noticed Maura's distance, the anguish on her face, and she couldn't help thinking about how different the past few days had been between them.

"Maura, did I say or do something wrong?"

"What?" she said with a flinch "No. Why… why would you think that?"

"Because you've pretty much been avoiding me for the past week and a half. I know you've been away, but our texts and phone calls have been short and… different. Even this morning one of your assistants brought the toxicology results up to me. So, I can't help but think…"

Maura opened her mouth to gently protest, but closed it and dropped her head to her lap with a soft shake.

"Please tell me," Jane pleaded. "I've got a seven year old that asks me every day why she hasn't seen her favorite person, and I don't know how to answer her because I'm just as confused as she is. So, if it's something I did…"

"It's not, Jane." She stopped her from going further. "I promise you, it's not."

Jane set her other hand atop Maura's knee, running her thumb back and forth a few times. Maura could feel the worry with each gentle stroke.

"Then will you please talk to me. You're clearly upset, Maur. Tell me. Please."

She shook her head, gaze still fixed on Jane's fingers.

"I don't think I can."

"Why not?" Jane whispered. Maura looked up, her eyes searching. Looking for anything to ground her. Finding it in Jane's returned gaze.

"It will change everything. Between us. Between what we have together with Elle. None of it will be the same afterwards."

Jane swallowed hard as she tried her best to keep the panic that bubbled within her chest from showing on her face.

"We will figure it out. I promise. Elle and I will always be here, no matter what. You don't need to go through whatever it is by yourself. That isn't how a family works."

Maura's breath caught her throat at the word. Family. It was something she felt she never truly had before Jane and Elle. Something she had clung to for a fleeting moment years ago before it was stolen away. It had always seemed a dream before the two of them came crashing into her life.

Her hand trembled as she pulled the folded sheet from her front pocket. It flipped in her fingers a couple of times and as Jane's eyes fell to it, she became confused. She knew what Maura held in her hand. There was no mistaking the worn edges or torn creases held together with tape.

"How do you have that?"

"Elle, she mentioned it the other day and told me where you kept it…"

She ran her finger up and down the smooth fold one last time before handing it to Jane. The way Jane reached for it caused the paper to unfold in her grasp. It had been a while since she had last looked at the sketch, but memorized details made it impossible for her to forget.

"I know who she is." Maura's words came out fast, afraid they would get stuck if she said them any slower.

"What?" Jane's reply was automatic. A need for her to rehear what Maura had just told her because there was no way she had actually said what Jane thought she had.

"I know who she is," the words thick and heavy as she continued. "Her name is Constance. She's an art consultant for many galleries across Europe."

"Maura…" Jane stammered as she looked up and down between the sketch and Maura. "How did you figure… how do you know that?"

She swallowed, but it did little to clear the rising lump in her throat. Tears glassed her eyes. Jane scooted closer on the bench, their knees coming to touch, and it took everything for Maura to not completely fall into her.

"Because she's my mother," she softly quivered.

"What?" Jane began, her head unknowingly shaking as she tried to piece together what Maura was saying. She ran her fingers through her hair a few times and Maura instantly missed her touch. "I don't understand…"

"Do you remember when you told me about that feeling you had back in the hospital on that day? Like she was somehow more connected to Elle than she ever made known?

Jane nodded. Her shock and confusion only building.

"The day of my accident was May 11th." She paused, letting the information linger between them, hoping Jane would start to put it all together. "That's the same day as-"

"Elle's birthday," Jane filled in. And it began to click into place. Details she had forgotten coming to her clearly once again. The woman's visitors badge. The patient intake forms sticking out from her bag. She had been there because Maura had been hit.

She suddenly felt as though she was drowning. Her breaths strained. Fighting for each little bit of oxygen. And just when she thought she had it under control, another wave of understanding dunked her back under.

The woman had lied to her. And to Maura. She had used Maura's unconsciousness and her own desire to adopt against them. She had pulled strings, had done whatever it took to ensure that each of them had a story they wouldn't look into further. That she thought Elle's birth mother had died. That Maura thought Elle had died.

It was horrible and absurd and heartbreaking.

"Are you-"

"-sure?" Maura finished. How many times, even with the DNA results, had she asked herself the same thing.

Jane nodded.

"Yes, I am. Elle is the little girl that I was told died and that you adopted and give this wonderful life to. She's my daughter." The words stuck in her throat, making it hard to breathe, but she clears it with a hard cough. "She's my daughter, but you are her mom and… and that's why I've been distant these past few days. Because I've been trying to figure out what to say. And how to cope with the fact that I've missed all of her life up until this point. That I should have been here for everything and my own mother stole that from me."

Maura searched Jane's face, locking onto the expressions she had come to understand so well. Jane's left eyebrow, slightly dipped to show her anger. How her mouth hung open slightly, showing she was truly shocked. The deeper than normal furrow in her brow, signaling her concentration to wrap her head around it all. But her eyes were wide and soft and said everything without saying a word.

Sorry. I can't imagine your pain. I'm here. I love you. We will figure it out. Together.

She jumped a little as Jane took her hands back in her own.

"Maura, I'm not sure what to say."

"I don't expect you to say anything…" she started, before Jane cut in.

"But I need you to know something." Her fingers started their soothing circles over the top of her hand. "You were worried this was going to change everything, but it doesn't. Sure, it changes some big things, but it doesn't change how I feel about you or what we've built this past year. And I can assure you this won't change how Elle feels about you. She loves you. We both do, Maur."

Maura felt as though she might shatter or burst or melt, she wasn't certain. Because somehow, through everything that had been thrown at her and all she had recently discovered, she had been lucky enough to find Jane. There was so much they needed to work through, but just knowing she was there for the moment, was enough.

"Nothing will change that much, if… if that's what you want."

Maura heard the sudden wariness settled atop Jane's words. And it didn't take but a split second to realize why it was there. All the implications of what this meant legally having finally broken through the wall of shock.

"Jane…"

She didn't get any further, the sharp ring of Jane's phone cutting her off. Jane flashed apologetic eyes before she stood and answered. Maura watched as she paced a couple of steps, running her hand once again through her hair, giving a few shakes of her head. And she couldn't help but wonder how much of it had to do with the phone conversation and how much was because of everything between them. All that needed to be discussed.

Jane walked the few steps back after hanging up. Maura stood to meet her and was instantly wrapped in her gentle arms. The embrace only lasted a few seconds, Jane pulling back. Maura's hands held on to her upper arms, making sure they stayed close.

"That was Korsak. We've got a lead on the suspect of our double homicide. I have to go."

Maura nodded. "I know."

"But depending on how it goes, I can come over later so we can talk."

"I'd like that." The words didn't seem enough, but it was all she could come up with.

Jane set her hands to the sides of her face, pulling her in as she placed a soft, lingering kiss to her forehead.

She took a few steps in the direction of the precinct before looking back over her shoulder. Maura had already found her spot on the bench once again.

"Maur?"

She looked up at the call of her name.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Jane."

They shared a smile before Jane walked off, Maura watching until she disappeared from view. Her head filled with all the things they needed to discuss. But before she could become too far lost, her phone buzzed loudly from within her purse. And as she searched for it, she never expected the name that appeared on her screen.

Her stomach lurched as she read over it a few times. Unable to deny who it was any longer.

It was 10 days earlier than Maura expected. 10 days earlier than she said she would be arriving. Her ever inconsiderate mother.

'I am in Boston. I will be at your house a little later this evening'

* * *

Constance walked through the front door, pausing to place air kisses to each side of Maura's face. It had always been their normal exchange, but Maura realized just how cold it actually was. It was nothing like the hugs she got from Elle or the lingering touches from Jane. And just the thought of the two of them and what her mother had done to them all took everything for her not to tense due to the fury and frustration quickly building within her.

"It is lovely to see you darling," she greeted, slipping out of her jacket and dropping it into Maura's arms.

"You too mother," Maura gritted out. On top of being enraged about her mother's lies and actions, she was irritated that just the presence of the woman forced her into the prim, proper, and perfect daughter she was expected to be.

"Isn't this charming." She squeezed the coat in her hands a little tighter as if to suffocate it. There were unspoken words in the short statement. Constance Isles did not think it was charming. No. Maura knew the word meant she thought it was below her standards. "I cannot believe it has taken you this long to have me to your home. How long have you lived here? 10 months? I thought I taught you better etiquette than that."

Maura took a deep breath. There was no point it bringing up that she had extended an invite to her mother, many invites in fact, it would only be disregarded or ignored.

"Can I get you a drink mother?" she asked, more so she could pour herself one than anything else.

"That would be wonderful. Thank you."

She opened a bottle of wine for Constance and poured a tumbler of whiskey for herself as they settled in the kitchen.

"It really has been quite too long Maura. I haven't had the opportunity to tell you about the art gallery opening of this artist I discovered in Milan."

Maura swirled her drink, a gift from Frankie and Tommy, before tilting her head back to swallow it in one large gulp. It was the little bit of liquid courage she needed to stop her mother's meaningless stories and confront her about the lies she had been told. And hopefully discover the truth buried within it all that she so desperately desired.

"Maura…" Constance started, her voice disapproving and Maura knew she was about to start to ridicule her about how she drank the whiskey.

"Stop mother. Just stop." There was a flicker of panic that fluttered through Maura at the harshness she was showing, but it was quickly replaced with the anger that had settled in because of everything her mother had done. "I don't need you to tell me how that wasn't ladylike or how you disapprove. What I do need you to explain is this."

Despite all the rage coursing through her, she delicately placed the photo on the counter and with a shaky hand slid it to rest in front of her mother.

Constance looked at it for a split second before turning up to Maura.

"I am afraid I don't understand. Who is this child?"

"Her name is Elle," Maura started. Her voice caught and before she could continue she swallowed hard. "She's my daughter."

A silence fell between them that was tense and eerily quiet. Maura watched Constance, looking for anything. Recognition, remorse, anything. And her fury grew as her mother's face remained like she had seen it so many times growing up. Solemn and inexpressive.

"Mmhmm," was all that she said as she pushed to photograph back towards Maura.

"Mmhmm? That's it? That's all you are going to say?" she practically yelled.

Constance's face remained steady.

"What is it that you expect me to reply with Maura?"

"To start, something more than a dismissive mumbled sound," she snapped. She ran her hand through her hair, something she was certain she had picked up from Jane, but it did little to settle her like it did for her girlfriend. Her voice quivered and cracked. "You lied to me. You told me she was dead."

"I did that for you," she replied, calm and collected as though she were stating a well known fact.

"For me?" Maura shouted. She knew well and good that her mother hadn't been thinking of her when she made the decision she had. Her mother had lied to protect her own image and that of the Isles foundation. That was the reason. But she knew her mother would fight the idea and deny that truth.

"Yes for you, Maura," she let out with an annoyed sigh. "Look at where you are now. A well respected medical examiner at the top of your field. A member of elite societies for which you attend high-class events and can have anyone on your arm. You have the freedom to travel for conferences or leisure whenever you would like. The world is at your feet darling.

"That child would have ruined everything. Whether you can see it or not, I did it for your future."

She was certain her mouth had dropped to the floor. Constance's reasoning was disturbing to the point where she couldn't control her physical reactions anymore. Her knuckles went white as she balled her fists. The muscles in her jaw suddenly defined as she gritted her teeth together.

"She was my future," her words came out softer than she would have liked, unable to prevent wisps of what could have been from slipping through. "She was the only thing that ever made sense. That ever actually mattered. And you ripped her away from me."

Constance poured herself another glass of wine, clearly disinterested in understanding the pain Maura was suffocating in.

"You are being overdramatic," she said bluntly before taking a sip from her glass.

"Overdramatic? Overdramatic!" Maura took a deep shaky breath, if only to keep her from doing something that would cause Jane and the rest of the homicide unit to be called to her house. "Mother what you did was illegal. And selfish. And undoubtedly the most cruel thing I have ever heard someone do to another person, let alone their daughter."

Constance set her jaw, prompting Maura to let out a noise that resembled something of a threatening growl.

"How?"

Her words came out ice cold. "Everybody has a price. Nurses, doctors, lawyers. They all have one." She gave a shrug of her shoulders. "And if they don't, well everyone has something they want to make sure stays tucked away from the public eye."

Maura stumbled back a few steps, shocked and disturbed by what her mother had just disclosed.

"You bribed and blackmailed people. Do you hear how insane that sounds?"

"I did what was necessary."

"What was…" she stopped herself from repeating the statement. She knew it wouldn't do anything to lessen her continued state of shock and dismay. "Why can't you see that nothing you did back then was necessary. She was my daughter. My family. If you didn't like what our version of a family was going to be you could have… you could have disowned me or something of the likes."

She scoffed. Loud and irritated.

"That would have been absurd."

"More absurd than lying elaborately to lead me to believe Elle had died?"

Constance stayed quiet. Her eyes narrowed in a glare she had never seen before. That even though they had never been close, it felt as though she were staring at a stranger. And it may have scared her in the past, but now she needed answers. There was nothing that would deter her from getting them. Even an ice cold glare.

"Why Jane?"

"Who?"

"Jane. The woman that adopted Elle." Her fingers ran over the picture in front of her. "I want to know what prompted you to speak with her at the hospital. Why did you choose her? She was a stranger."

Confusion crept across Constance's steely glare.

"How do you know about that? Do you know her, Maura?" It was only then that she took a moment to actually scan the house beyond the kitchen. Finally noticing the small details she had missed before. Stacks of children's activity books on the coffee table. A few of Jane's freshly washed BPD sweatshirts hung over the back of the couch. The handful of framed photos in the bookshelf of her and Jane or the three of them together. And things clicked into place. "Are you in a relationship with her? Is that how you discovered all of this?"

"Answer my question." Her words were fierce, scorching like fire as they left her lips and she only wished they could actually burn who they were aimed towards.

"You may not believe this right now, but I have a heart." Maura scoffed at the idea, but Constance continued, her voice growing just a touch more stern. "I do, Maura. And I have a rather good instinct at finding others who share that same quality. Just look at the eye I have for upcoming artists. I knew that woman held the same beliefs and characteristics that I do. It was as simple as that."

Maura rolled her eyes. Hard. She had never heard her mother spew out so much garbage in her entire life.

"You can tell yourself that's how it happened to make yourself feel good, but I want to know what really happened."

"What is it that you are expecting me to say?" Annoyance oozed from every word.

"The truth!" Maura shouted. "For once I want you to tell me what actually happened all those years ago."

"Fine, Maura," she tossed her hands up. "Do you want me to say that the lawyer I dealt with when you were unconscious said everything would be much easier if I found somewhere to place that child myself privately than through an agency? Would you like me to tell you I discovered her by pure chance and coincidence? That I overheard her on the phone speaking with her partner about their adoption applications? That a quick call was all it took to discover she was a cop and thought a blue collar, working family was where that child actually belonged? And after speaking with her, was convinced we would never cross paths with people like them? That I thought I didn't need to worry about you ever uncovering the truth? Is that what you want to hear?"

Maura turned away, unable to look at her any more. Her stomach contents quickly rising in her throat as she grew more horrified by her mother's words. She swallowed and turned back around slowly, surprised to find the anger suddenly gone. Replaced by an equally upsetting amount of disappointment and heartbreak.

"Wanted, no. Expected, yes."

Constance let out a huff. One that signaled to them both she was clearly fed up with what she viewed as Maura's continued overreaction.

"I'm rather tired of this conversation darling. Let's change the topic. I still haven't had the chance to tell you about Europe."

"I need to know one more thing."

She blinked in reply, prompting Maura to proceed. And though she was certain she already knew the answer, she asked.

"Did you keep an eye on Elle as she grew up?"

Constance jerked back as if the words had lunged at her. And Maura could see the perplexion settle across her face.

"Of course not. Why would I have done such a thing?"

"Because she's your granddaughter."

"She is not my granddaughter," she said sharply. "Once you stop this little charade of playing house with this woman and have settled down with an individual of the right status and begin a family properly, those will be my grandchildren. Honestly Maura."

Maura could feel the hot tears brimmed within her eyes. She blinked a couple of times, willing them to remain unshed. She would not cry in front of her mother. In front of this woman she realized cared for no one but herself. That only truly cared about her image.

"Come to your senses, darling."

"Right, my senses."

Constance grinned like she won. And the smirk was the last straw.

"Get out," they tumbled out as a growl, low and threatening.

"Excuse me?" Her words sounded strangled as she forced them through her disbelief at her daughter's words.

"Get out," she repeated. Louder. More firm. "I've come to my senses and I want you out of my house. Now."

Constance's face went steely. Maura was convinced her mother was going to protest further, but to her surprise she watched as she straightened even further and set her shoulders. It was a move she had seen her do countless times. An attempt to proclaim her superiority without saying a word. It was a power move. One that Maura wasn't going to back down from.

"You're making a mistake." The words were aimed. Meant to cut like glass.

Maura only shook her head.

"The only mistake I made was initially thinking that somehow all of this had to have been a giant misunderstanding. Or after discovering it wasn't, that you actually felt remorse for what you'd done.

"You tore my life apart back then. You tossed Elle into the unknown. And never once did you hold any genuine concern for me or her. I will never get those years back. I will never get to treasure all the memories I should have had with her as she grew up. And for that, I will never forgive you. Never.

"So get the hell out of my home."

There was a split second pause where neither of them moved or breathed or blinked. A split second where Maura thought she was going to have to fight some more. But then Constance stood and moved to grab her coat. Leaving no goodbye, only a trail of unsatisfying answers and complete destruction.

Maura locked the door after it slammed shut, slumping against it and sliding to the floor, completely and utterly exhausted. Broken. Caught between feeling everything and being absolutely numb.

She set her head against the wood, tilted back, the hot tears she had been fighting slipping silently down her cheeks as she let go. As she released all the fight that had been coiled inside. That had been building for the past 10 days. Because there was no use in holding onto it now.

Now all that mattered was Elle and Jane and figuring out how to move forward.


	9. Chapter 9

I'm so sorry for the wait. Life is hard. But your reviews have been, and are always, so kind and they pushed me to get this out. It picks up the morning after the last chapter.

* * *

It took a few tries before her eyes finally opened. The salt from her tears the night before having sealed them shut. Her neck ached from the odd position she had fallen asleep in on the couch. But it was the bitterness in her mouth from the words yelled at her mother and the crushing pressure on her chest from the horrendous truth that really caused her the most discomfort.

Slowly, she moved to the kitchen, her eyes settling on the wine and whiskey glasses. She wished she had cleaned them up last night, because now the unkind memories of yesterday rang through her mind. She snapped her head away and harshly pushed the innocent button to start the coffee machine.

Words rattled in her head. Words that weren't hers. Loud and mean. The hissing and spittle of the brewing coffee barely audible over them. Things like "charade of playing house" and "she's not my granddaughter" and "come to your senses". They held no truth in her mind. But her mother had planted seeds that were steadily blooming into fears. Fears that she had been pushing down since she had spoken with Jane yesterday.

What happens next? How do they actually move forward? What if they fall apart?

She sank her head into her hands and closed her eyes. Her coffee steamed just below, flooding her with its scent, making her wish she could get lost in it completely for just one minute. But a soft knock against the front door kept her from falling in too deep.

"Jane," her name escaped with Maura's breath as she opened the door.

"Hi Maur."

All she wanted was to crumble into Jane's arms right there. To sob and shake and let everything her mother had built up in her crumble away. But she held steady, as steady as she could with her muscles trembling as they were, letting her eyes pour over Jane as she pulled as much strength from her as she could. Jane stiffened a little under her gaze and Maura wished she had wrapped her up tight. The uncertainty crept into the rest of her limbs. It was the same one Maura had felt after her mother had left. One that she wanted to ease away for them both. And then it was gone, masked by Jane's charming smile.

"Can I come in?" she asked softly.

A blush crept over Maura's cheeks. She let out a soft laugh.

"Of course. Please."

Jane pressed a quick kiss to the top of her head as she moved into the front hall and Maura practically melted.

"Coffee?" she asked, the word turning into a chuckle as Jane eyed the fancy machine warily. "I'll make it for you," she reassured. This time Jane laughed with a few nods.

With drinks warm in hand, they settled at the kitchen island. Maura seated on one of the stools. Jane leaned up against the counter. A quiet settled over them. The steam that curled from their coffee also silent and yet somehow creating the most amount of noise. Jane found her voice first.

"I called a few times last night."

Maura glanced over to where her phone sat on an end table. "Oh, I turned off my phone."

Jane took a step closer. "You had me worried. I almost came over."

"It was best you didn't." She could only imagine how differently things might have gone had Jane been there with her mother. The amount of fight Jane would have given to prove to Constance just how wrong she had been sent a shiver up the back of Maura's neck.

"Oh." Jane flinched, taking a half step back.

"No," Maura realized how her words sounded. "I didn't mean… Jane, I wish you had been here with me. It's just… it's just my mother dropped by last night, and for her sake it was probably best you weren't here."

Jane swallowed the rage that filled her mouth.

"Are you okay?" she asked. Soft. Concerned. And yet also fiercely protective.

Maura shook her head. Partly in response to Jane's question. Partly because she still couldn't believe all her mother had said.

"No. I don't think I am."

She took a few steps forward, filling the space that had been created a minute before, and placed a soft touch to Maura's arm.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I can't believe it took me this long to realize what an awful person she is."

"Sometimes it's hard to see things when it comes to family," she tried to comfort even though the words didn't seem enough.

"I confronted her about Elle. Told her I had discovered her lie and…" she paused, pain flashing across her face. "And I don't know how I expected her to react. Shocked or guilty or even relieved I suppose. But all she was was indifferent. Like me finally knowing the truth and wanting an explanation was this huge burden on her.

"And her justification was that she did it for my future. Because in her mind a child would have ruined any chance at having a successful medical career. But what she doesn't understand is that Elle was my future. She was my everything."

"She still is Maur," Jane whispered. "She still is."

A tear slid down her face, stopping on her cheek long enough for Jane to wipe it away with her thumb. The familiar touch spread a wave of warmth through Maura and things fell away for that split second. But only for a second.

"I don't know what to do, Jane."

"We'll figure it out," she reassured, but Jane could see there was more to her words. Whatever it was, swimming in Maura's eyes.

Maura dropped her gaze to the counter, focusing on how close she and Jane were. Placing her fingers lightly atop Jane's. Her mother's voice rang loudly in her ears. The need to silence them, no matter what it meant, large and overwhelming. She looked back up and found Jane's eyes already searching, waiting for hers.

"I'm scared."

"That's okay. I am too, Maur."

"Last night, my mother she said something… she implied that our relationship was only a temporary thing. And… and I know that isn't true, but…" she took a deep breath. "Before I figured out who Elle was and what my mother had done, before these past couple of weeks, if anything happened between us, if our relationship didn't work out, I would have certainly been hurt. But now… well, now I fear it will destroy me. All three of us actually. What happens if it doesn't work, Jane?"

Her voice was as soft as a whisper could possibly be. Jane's eyes grew wide, her mouth dropped open just enough for words to stumble out. Words she didn't actually want to say, but didn't have time to stop. "I'm not sure."

The heavy tears in Maura's eyes grew into large pools as she continued.

"Me either and that's what I'm afraid of, Jane. Because then Elle has to deal with sorting between the two of us and the guilt and pressure of trying to appease us both because of our unique situation. Balancing between the mom she's always known and the one that's biologically related to her. And then there are courts and custody dealings and all the fires that come with it. All of it scares me, Jane. All of it."

Jane stayed quiet for a few moments, her eyes finding their now intertwined fingers. She knew that while some of the worry was Maura's, most of it was from her mother and the hurtful things she had surely said the night before.

"Is that what you think is going to happen?"

Maura stayed quiet and Jane continued.

"If I'm honest, I think the most scared I have ever been was that moment yesterday when you told me Elle was your daughter. There was this panic that overcame me as I tried to wrap my head around what it all meant for us. And for a little while I couldn't help the dread that settled atop me at the idea that I was going to lose her, and you, because of it."

Maura's fingers gripped tighter and Jane took it as a sign to keep going.

"But last night, after tucking her in, when there was finally a little bit of quiet, most of that fear disappeared. Because there was this comfort in knowing and feeling all we've built together. I know it's still frightening. We've both lived for so long with these "what if's" lingering over us. What if Sarah hadn't left? What if your daughter hadn't died? But we have those answers now. We can move beyond them.

"Because what if we work? What if we make it? I like thinking about the answers to those because I can't picture any part of my future without you. You and me and Elle together as a family. I can't think of anything more perfect."

The goofy grin and hopeful eyes Jane flashed were everything. Everything she ever wanted, needed, or could have hoped for.

"I want that too. I want that more than I can say."

"Good," Jane smiled, wiping a single tear that had started to slip down Maura's cheek.

Maura made the most of the extra contact, her hands finding their way to the back of Jane's neck, pulling her closer. Their lips met in a kiss. Firm and steady. And there was something more behind it. A promise. That they had made it through this far. That they would make it through all that was yet to come. Together.

They eventually settled on the couch. Neither of them certain of exactly how long they had stayed talking at the counter. Long enough to make it through a couple cups of coffee. Long enough that almost everything else either of them had on their minds was laid bare. Wonderful and frighteningly open.

Maura sat tucked under Jane's arm. Each of them nursed the last of their coffees, both knowing they could probably use a refill and yet neither of them wanting to get up to do so. Not wanting to pull away for even the split second it would take to go to the kitchen and back. Everything was still so raw and only their closeness seemed to ease it all away.

"Maur?" Jane broke the small sliver of quiet. "Have you thought about what you want to tell Elle?"

She shifted to better face Jane and gave a small nod.

"Telling her was the first thing I thought of when I discovered the truth. Before figuring out how to explain it to you. Before thoughts of confronting my mother. Elle has always been first. But she's the only one I haven't been able to find the words for.

"Every time I think about how I should explain, the beginning is always different. Because I somehow hope it will let me find the right way, the right words… but every scenario ends the same. I get stuck choking on air. Halted by…"

Maura trailed off. A deep fear bubbling to the surface. Because while she and Jane had talked and worked through it all, when it came to Elle it was a completely different fear all together. Jane set her hand over Maura's thigh.

"By what?"

"I'm not her mom, Jane. To her I'm Mo and your girlfriend and that's it. How do I find a way to explain the truth and upend who I am to her and hope she eventually accepts that in some way or another? That's so much to ask, from anyone let alone a seven year old."

A soft crinkle appeared on Jane's nose, like she had been surprised by soda fizz. The story that sprang to mind warm and good and she hoped would be enough to reassure Maura what she already knew.

"That day, when Elle and I showed up at your office, before everything came to light, do you remember what we were speaking about in the hall? Just the two of us?"

"Elle had gotten in trouble at school that day for hitting a classmate," she said with a few nods.

Jane gave a half smile. "I never told you the full reason she did that… and I promised her I wouldn't say because she wanted to tell you herself, but I think you should hear it now because, well…"

Maura scooted even closer. Jane's hand traced patterns over her jeans.

"That boy said some not so nice things. Things that really upset her. But what bothered her the most was the way he reacted when she explained that she had… has two moms."

Jane let the words hang between them for a few breaths. A flurry of emotions ran across Maura's eyes, the rest of her frozen and still as it sank in.

"Before we came down to see you, when I trying to get her to explain it all to me, she asked if it was okay to count you as her mom. And I don't think I've ever seen her so happy than she was just then. I know you're worried about telling her and how she will react and if it will change things between you and her, but I can tell you, Maura, she already thinks of you as her mom. She already loves you as her mom. That won't change no matter the words you use to explain it."

The tears that had flooded her eyes earlier returned. And though they blurred her vision just the same, they were different. Happy and bright rather than dark and frightened. A soft, strangled noise fell from her mouth when she first tried to speak. She cleared her throat with a blooming smile.

"She said that?"

"Yeah. She did." After a couple of seconds, Jane added, "Does that surprise you?"

Her first instinct was to answer yes. Yes. Because she still felt that loss all those years ago when she thought her chance at ever being a mother had been taken from her. Yes. Because how could she be a mother when her own had been such a horrible role model. Yes. Because she had never been close to any child before Elle. But then it was gone and she shook her head.

Clips of memories played one after the other. Warm. Good. School events and dinners and tucking her into bed. All of them piecing together to prove that Elle was right. That she had no reason to be surprised. She had become her mom regardless of their biological connection.

Her smile spread as she locked eyes with Jane.

"I don't think she will ever stop amazing me."

Jane nodded, understanding like no one else could. Elle hadn't stopped ceasing to amaze her. And a goodness bubbled in her chest knowing Maura would be there to experience every moment from here on.

"She gets that from you."

"I agree," Maura joked. Jane feigned offense for a moment, driving them both to light, bubbly laughs. And each of them could recognize this was the beginning of them moving forward. The small exchange bouncing between them like it always did. Normal. Everything each of them wanted.

A soft content sigh escaped from Maura's lips, sending goosebumps over the tops of Jane's arms. Maura leaned into Jane, pressing a kiss to her shoulder before setting her head down and tucking back under her arm. Jane rested her chin on the crown of her head and the two of them found their breaths falling into rhythm.

"The three of us are going to make it. As a family." Maura's words came out soft.

Jane kissed her head again. "Yeah. We are."

* * *

Next chapter we hear from Elle :)


	10. Chapter 10

Elle hadn't stopped moving or talking since she had gotten back from spending the afternoon over at Tommy and Lydia's while Jane spoke with Maura. It wasn't as though Jane hadn't been expecting it. She knew how much fun Elle and TJ had whenever they got together. She had always been so grateful for it, but now she was struggling to capture even a full sentence Elle was rapidly gushing out at her.

"Ma? Did you hear me?"

It pulled her from her fog.

"No, bug. I'm sorry. Why don't you tell me again."

Elle stayed quiet, coming to a stop just before her. Jane could feel the concern pouring from her.

"Is something the matter?" she finally asked.

"No, no." Jane's words did little to convince her. She patted the space next to her on the couch and Elle climbed up next to her. She ran her fingers through Elle's hair, pushing some loose strands away from her eyes. And for a moment she marveled at how much she looked like Maura. How had she not seen something before? "I've just been thinking a lot. There's something important I want to talk to you about."

"Okay."

"I want to talk to you about your first mom."

Jane recalled the moment when that term had come about. When she first explained to Elle that she was adopted. How she had said birth mother and Elle had innocently heard first mother. And it had stuck all these years later.

"Okay," she said once more. The word fell somewhere between confusion and wariness. Because although Jane had always been open with Elle about her adoption, her first mom wasn't a subject that came up often.

"What have we always known about her?"

Elle gave a soft smile. She knew the answer. Her Ma had made sure she knew it since she was little. "That she really loved me and would have done anything so we could be a family, but she died and we couldn't be together anymore. But we're really grateful to her because she's the reason that I get to be your daughter."

"That's right. She loves you so much and we are so grateful to her but…" Jane cleared her throat. There was no easy way to say it, Maura had told her as much earlier. No easy way to ensure that a seven year old, although wise beyond her years, would understand. She barely did herself, but she tried. "But part of what I was told, what I explained to you, isn't true."

"Someone lied to you?" Elle scooted closer.

"They did and they shouldn't have." She shook her head. Maura's mother shouldn't have done what she had. But, how different everything would have been if she hadn't. That too was an awful and petrifying thought.

"What did they lie about?"

"Well, they told me your first mom died."

"But she didn't?"

"No, sweetheart. She didn't."

She watched as Elle dropped her head, looking to her lap as she fiddled with the bottom button of her shirt, wondering what was going through her little mind.

"Elle? Want to tell me what's running around up there?"

Elle looked back up with wide, confused eyes.

"Why did that person lie to you about that?"

A soft sigh escaped Jane's lips. She knew the unkind answer. That Constance thought Elle was going to be a black mark on their family name. That she would ruin Maura's social status, and more importantly her own. But it was an answer she was determined Elle would never discover.

"I think sometimes people get really scared when their lives are changing. And I think this person lied to make sure that didn't happen to them. They wanted everything to stay the same, even if that meant lying to lots of people."

Elle blinked a couple of times, the only thing keeping her brow from furrowing together in displease at the explanation.

"That's not a very good reason."

"No, it's not."

"Are they going to get in trouble?"

"Yes they are." She affirmed with a sharp nod. If it was the only thing she did for the rest of her career, she was going to make sure Constance faced her actions.

Elle's next question cut through her rising anger, refocusing her on what mattered most. Elle. The start of their explanation. Maura.

"You're still going to be my mom though, right?"

"Of course. You can't get rid of me that easily," she joked, giving a couple of pokes to Elle's side that earned a couple of squeals as Elle squirmed out of her reach. Once she was sure Jane wasn't going to tickle her again, she curled up onto her lap, resting her head against her chest. Jane rocked them a couple of times before Elle sat back up.

"Ma?"

Jane gave her a soft smile. "Yeah?"

"Does this mean you know who my first mom is?"

"Yeah, bug. I do."

A worry crept into her chest as she thought about what she would say if Elle actually asked who she was. Because that reveal belonged to Maura. Elle deserved to hear it from her. And yet, that question never came. Not because Elle wasn't thinking it, Jane could practically see it forming and lingering and waiting to get out. But she could also see that Elle seemed to sense that the question, and it's answer, was meant for a person other than herself. It was enough to send goosebumps over the tops of Jane's arms.

"Am I ever going to meet her?"

"Would you like to?"

A small panic fluttered in her chest as she waited for Elle's answer. Maura had been adamant earlier that everything that came next was up to Elle. It was her decision whether or not to know who her birth mother was. She had insisted she would be fine either way. As staying as Mo or becoming to Elle the person she most desperately wanted. But Jane knew the latter is what she wanted most, and so her heart started to beat harder as Elle began to speak.

"Yeah. But…"

"But what, sweetheart."

"But I already have two moms. So, would it be okay if she were just my friend instead, because I only want you and Mo to be my moms."

Jane pulled her close and pressed a lingering kiss to the side of her head.

"I love you so much, do you know that?" Elle smiled wide and gave a quick nod. "Good. Now, how about you tell me that story about you and TJ you were trying to say earlier."

And she barely had time to take a breath before Elle was off. Speaking so fast Jane was sure some of the words weren't English.

* * *

Her knuckles raked across the door. Hard and firm. More restrained than the uncontrolled pounding of fists that she would have preferred. She raised her hand again, poised to knock and filled with the fire that she could use a little more force, when it opened.

Jane's steeled eyes widened. It was one thing to hold the idea of Constance Isles in her mind. To know what she had done and how her choice had affected them all. It was entirely different to see her face to face after all these years. The stranger that now wasn't a stranger at all. That looked almost exactly as she had back then. Superior. Boastful. Arrogant.

"Can I help you?" her voice dripped with annoyance.

Jane clenched her jaw and swallowed the fury that filled her mouth.

"Do you remember who I am?"

"I cannot say that I do," she replied, peering past Jane and down the hall for hotel staff. "How did you get up to this level?"

Jane waited a moment more as Constance's eyes darted back to her upon the lingering quiet. It was clear she wasn't used to not getting an immediate answer. And Jane couldn't help the small swell of pride that balled in her chest at the fact it had made the woman unsettled. It was petty, and perhaps juvenile, but still so small compared to what she deserved.

Constance cleared her throat expectantly, but still Jane stayed silent, waiting to see if there was any spark of recognition as to who she was. Only finally speaking up when she was sure she had pushed as far as she could.

"My name is Jane Rizzoli. My daughter is Elle."

Finally the recognition, the remembrance, rolled across her face. Her eyes hardened even further. Her shoulders squared and she stood taller. And her mouth set in a slim, straight line, but not before giving an almost invisible smirk.

"Ah, yes Miss Jane Rizzoli. Motherhood has certainly written years onto that once youthful face of yours. Although you seem like the type of woman that doesn't seem to mind those types of things."

Jane forced a smile in an effort to show that the woman's words had no effect. Because they really didn't. Rather it was what wasn't said that had her fists balled and clenched tight. Those words she didn't say just as loud as the ones she did. The implication clear that she had done Maura another favor, that she was to credit for keeping wrinkles away and light circles from forming under her eyes, by stealing Elle away from her.

"My daughter seems quite taken with you. Although I currently see no rational reason as to why," she said, giving a quick look up and down. Jane's whole body tensed involuntarily. "Does Maura know you're here?"

The air found its way back to her voice. Renewed superiority. It was clear that she thought she knew best. That she understood Maura better than Jane. That Maura would disapprove of her being there.

It was true that Maura was unaware of this visit. But after all the hurt this woman had caused, Jane knew she couldn't let her slip away without consequences, not again. She could beg for forgiveness later if Maura disapproved.

"You haven't changed at all," she growled.

"Thank you."

"It wasn't meant as a compliment. You're just as manipulative and cruel now as you were back then."

Constance sucked in a sharp breath before pursing her lips. Shocked and bitter her own briskness was not having the effect it usually did. Her next words came out strained and short.

"As much as I enjoy being insulted, is there an actual reason for your visit?"

"Do you know why I love my job as a detective so much?"

Constance rolled her eyes. "No, and though I don't particularly care, I am assuming you're about to tell me."

Jane shot her a look. Half fake smile. Half real grimace.

"Mainly because I love getting justice for families. I love being able to provide closure and peace to people who need it most. But sometimes it's simply about bringing down people that for whatever reason, money, status, power, think they don't have to answer for their actions. That the consequences don't apply to them.

"Maura told me about the lies and the bribes and the blackmail. I know you think that you're above any punishment, but let me make it perfectly clear. You're not. And you will pay for all the hurt you've caused."

"Is that a threat detective?"

"Take it how you want," Jane replied sharply, taking a half step forward to tower over her. "Maura and Elle are the two most important people in my life and the fact that you fail to see how amazing they are…" she trailed off, fuming with disbelief and anger. Her eyes pierced into the woman in front of her. "But, if by some miracle you come to realize your mistake of taking them both for granted and think about reaching out, don't. They both deserve so much more than you. And if you ignore this and contact either of them without their consent, I will make your life more hellish than it's about to become."

For a split second Jane saw the panic flash in Constance's eyes. A moment of realization that her wealth and her name wasn't going to free her from her actions. That there was nothing she could do or say to free her from Jane's grasp. And then it was gone. Replaced with cold eyes and tense lips.

"Goodbye, detective," she said, slamming the door shut.

Jane took a moment to collect her breath before turning back down the hall. The adrenaline of having told Constance Isles off still coursing through her entire body. But by the time she reached the lobby, she had settled enough to pull out her phone and dialed her contact at the FBI.

* * *

Things hadn't gone exactly to plan. Maura had been called away to consult on a case, much to her reluctance in having to leave a few days. And so it happened that everything came together again four days after Jane initially spoke with Elle. Fourteen days since Maura had last spoken with or seen Elle that day in her office. And the fact that more time had slipped away from being with Elle weighed heavy.

She knocked on the door, smiling as she heard the usually flurry of scuttling behind it. And when it finally flung open everything stopped. Her breathing. Her heart. All the thoughts racing across her brain.

"Mo!" Elle wrapped her arms tight around Maura's waist. Maura returned the hug just as tight, holding steady for a few breaths before dropping to her knees and pulling Elle even closer. She would never be able to get enough of this love. Elle wriggled a little. "Mo, you're squishing me."

Maura pressed a kiss to the side of Elle's head before she loosened the hug. Neither of them fully breaking contact. Elle's hands resting on her shoulders. Maura's arms still lightly wrapped around her back.

"You're crying. Are you sad?"

"No, no." One hand wiped quickly under her eyes. "I'm just so happy to see you."

"Me too. I really missed you."

Maura found she couldn't say anything in return. Her throat closed while her emotions swelled. But she managed a smile and Elle beamed back. And it was as though everything was before. She wished there was a way to freeze a moment. But then Elle was excitedly pulling away.

"I haven't gotten to show you my science fair project. I got second place," she said, scurrying towards her room.

"Elle, sweetheart, wait." Jane blurted out fast, stopping her from getting any further. "Maura and I want to talk with you about something." She patted the spot next to her on the couch as she took her own seat.

"Okay." Elle walked the few steps back, reaching for Maura's hand, and the two of them sat down. Elle settled between Jane and Maura. Maura searched for Jane's eyes, finding them as Jane gave a reassuring and supportive nod. And with a deep breath she started.

"Do you remember when we were first getting to know each other and you asked me why I left Boston a long time ago?"

Elle nodded, recalling the first lunch the three of them had together. "You got sad."

"Yeah a little bit. I wanted to talk with you about that if that's alright."

Elle nodded once again. Her fingers fumbled from nerves as she pulled out a picture from her purse. Her breath caught in her throat as she looked it over. It had been buried for years. Unable to look at it without feeling as if her heart was being crushed. But now everything was different. That little girl was sitting next to her.

She held the photo out to Elle and she took it in her own hands with care.

"That's me almost 8 years ago."

Elle looked up with wide eyes. "You were going to have a baby?"

"I was. A little girl. But then I got into a really bad accident. They had to take me to the hospital to save my life…" Her voice cracked and cut her off. How had she convinced herself that this was the best way to approach this?

"Did your baby die?" Elle's words came out as a whisper, soft and delicate, concern laced within every word.

"That's what the doctors and my mother told me, yes."

"That's why you left. Because Boston made you miss her?"

The tears finally spilled over and Maura was quick to catch them before they trickled down her cheeks.

"Yes. You are exactly right. And I thought that going away would make things better, but when I came back it still really hurt. But you know what did make it better?" Elle shook her head. "Meeting you and your mom and getting to know you and-

She was cut off by Elle. "And becoming part of our family?"

Maura swallowed, an almost impossible task, her mouth almost completely dry, and she nodded with a weak smile. A stray tear escaped and ran down her cheek "Yes. That has been the best thing that has happened to me in a really long time."

"But you're crying sad tears now."

She nodded and before she could say anything Elle continued. "Why?"

Maura cleared her throat. "Because I found out that those people in the hospital lied to me."

Elle quickly swiveled to look up at Jane. "Just like someone lied to you?"

Jane nodded and Elle gave her attention back to Maura.

"Does that mean she didn't die?"

"No she didn't."

Ever so slightly, Elle tilted her head to the side. Her face filled with confusion and concern. "What happened to her then?"

"She was adopted my a really amazing mom." Maura's eyes flicked up to Jane for a split second. Just long enough for her to understand just how much Maura meant with those words.

"But you're still really sad."

"Yeah I am. I missed a lot of her growing up."

Elle let her head drop, eyes falling to her hands and she nodded slowly in understanding.

"People shouldn't lie. It's not nice and it makes people sad."

Maura reached out, gently running her fingers through Elle's soft hair. There was worry in her eyes when she looked back up. And Maura was struck by just how much her daughter looked like her. But she would have given anything to keep that expression off her face forever.

"Are… are you going to find her?" Her voice was soft, almost a whisper, and suddenly the worry, the fright in her eyes, made sense. Because if Maura went to find her daughter, what would that mean for the two of them. For the three of them.

"Well, umm…" Maura stumbled. Elle scooted a few inches closer, hanging on her every word. She scrambled to find words. But there was no right way to say what she needed. No precedent she could build upon. As it should be she thought immediately afterwards. "I already found her."

"You did?" Elle squeaked out.

"Yes," Maura whispered through her tightening chest. And as the word escaped it took everything else with it. All of her explanations. Every ounce of composure she had left. It all pulled away as she looked at Elle. Their truth hanging so close between them. She looked over to Jane, vision blurred by building tears, an unspoken understanding bouncing between them.

"Elle," Jane started. Elle shifted to face her, a small questioning furrow between her eyebrows. "What Maura is trying to say… to explain… umm, what we're trying to tell you is… is that Maura is your first mom."

The seconds that followed felt stretched into an eternity. Elle blinked a few times. The only movement between the three of them. Her eyes never left Jane's. And as the silence stretched, a panic settled deep within both women. They caught eyes as Elle scooted off the couch before turning to stand in front of Maura.

Her voice came out soft. "You're my first mom?"

Maura nodded. Her eyes wide and soft. Glassy with tears. The smile she offered crooked and trembling. It was nerves and uncertainty, but she hoped Elle could see all the love pouring from her as well.

"Elle?" Jane asked.

Her eyes flicked back down to the photo still in her hands before looking back up to Maura.

"This was me?"

"Yes, sweetheart."

"I was supposed to grow up with you?"

Maura nodded her throat tight. And though her own vision was blurred, she noticed the pools built up in Jane's eyes as well as she caught a glimpse of her out of the corner of her eye. Elle's eyes tracked over Maura's every feature as though she were looking at a complete stranger. A sudden distance between them. A cautious curiosity as Elle pieced it all together. As she tried to understand it all just as Maura and Jane had done earlier.

Maura had stopped breathing, her lungs burning while the silence was building. And just when she felt as though she couldn't take anymore, her heart shattered as Elle turned without another word and ran away to her room.

Both she and Jane sat quiet and still, neither of them having expected Elle to react that way. Jane found her voice first.

"Maura," she whispered. "She might just need a little time. Wrap her head around everything, you know?."

Maura nodded, if only to keep from completely breaking apart.

There was a rustling in the direction of Elle's room before it fell quiet. No footsteps. No noise. And Maura figured Elle probably hunkered down in her room to process it all as Jane had said. She stood up and moved towards the front door.

"Maybe I should go."

"Maur, please stay."

She shook her head, still facing away. This is what she had feared and it would be easier for everyone to figure things out if she wasn't there. But the tears keep her from moving forward and a lump in her throat prevents her from speaking. And so they both stay still, close to one another. Jane an inch from wrapping Maura in her arms. Maura a breath from falling into her.

Neither of them heard the soft steps back down the hall.

"Mo? Are you leaving?" Elle's voice is soft and confused. And Maura turned instantly, wiping her eyes quickly before answering.

"No. I'm staying."

A smile beamed from Elle's face. She pulled them back to the couch, and they both barely had time to realize she had brought out a photo album before she started flipping through pages of pictures.

"You said you were sad because you didn't get to see me growing up, so I thought this would make you feel better." She started before finding one with a toothless grin. "Here's when I lost my first tooth. I actually did lose it and I had to write the tooth fairy a note. But she believed me and said it happens to lots of kids. And because it was my first tooth I got five dollars.

"And this is from when I tried ballet. How long did I do it for again?" she looked over to Jane.

" Four days."

" Yeah four days. Ma says it was because I didn't like the suit thing and tights.

"Here's a picture from my favorite field trip. We went to the museum and got to see a dinosaur skeleton. There actually called fossils. It had a name, but it didn't like it so I called it Meg the whole time. Ma was a chaperone. It was the best."

She turned to the last page of the album with photos, the most recent additions, and ran her fingers over the photo.

"But this is my new favorite picture."

Both Maura and Jane leaned in a little closer to get a better look. It was an action shot of Elle on the monkey bars at a park. It was blurry and off center and there was absolutely nothing spectacular about it. Jane wasn't even sure who took the photo. Frankie maybe.

Maura looked up to Jane to see if she knew the backstory, but could tell she was just as perplexed.

"Why's that bean?" Jane asked

"Because this is the day we met Mo in the park."

Their hearts both swelled. Each of them realizing just how lucky they were that this sweet girl was their daughter. But saying the nickname she had come to love calling Maura seemed to trigger a switch in Elle and her stare on Maura intensified, hard in thought.

"I'm glad you found out you are my first mom, but..." Elle paused and the word had Jane and Maura holding their breath. "But you've kinda been my mom for a while now."

She pushed the photo album to the side and practically jumped into Maura's arms. Her arms wrapped tight around her neck and Maura enveloped her back. And she instantly knew there was nothing that could compare with the feeling of holding her daughter close. She could have stayed in that moment forever and it still wouldn't have been long enough.

Elle pulled ever so slightly back and for a moment Maura believed the hug was finished. Cut shorter than she wanted. But it was only to bring her mouth to her ear and she whispered words Maura was certain she would never come to hear.

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, Elle. I love you so much," she managed to choke out.

The tears flowed freely down Maura's face. They ran trails of sheer happiness over her cheek bones and down her jawline. Jane reached out fitting her hand into Maura's and when they made eye contact she gave a little squeeze that said everything without saying anything. It was a declaration of love and a promise of the future and for the first time in her life things felt so wonderfully perfect.

The rest of the day was a blur, a crazy whirlwind of all the best emotions. Of Elle sharing every favorite memory that came to mind. Of hugs and kisses and being called mom. It wasn't until much later in the evening, when exhaustion hit their daughter will its full force, did things seem to settle down.

Elle had fallen asleep, curled in her arms as they sat on the couch. Jane came in from the kitchen, two glasses of wine in her hands, and slid in next to them, passing one glass off while her other arm slipped over Maura's shoulders. A warmth spread over both of them as Maura leaned into her.

She couldn't help the smile that stretched across her entire face.

"What?" Jane asked when she caught site of it.

"This feels like a dream. Being here with my daughter in my arms, close to the woman I love," she shook her head in disbelief at how wonderful it was.

Jane smiled one of her charming, mischievous grins. "I promise it's real. Although, I could pinch you just to prove you aren't dreaming."

Maura laughed and Jane kissed the top of her head. They were perfect. And as they continued to sit there, Maura couldn't help but think about what once had been lost, she found again, better than she ever could have imagined.

* * *

Probably one more chapter as an epilogue of sorts. I hope you've enjoyed this journey as much as I have.


	11. Chapter 11

This is easily the cheesiest and fluffiest thing I've ever written, and I kind of loved every minute of it.

* * *

Maura fumbled through her purse in search for her keys as the elevator rose to the main floor. Her small smile grew the longer she searched, pushing aside baby wipes and granola bars and washable markers, because her once tidy purse was now beautifully disastrous. But it faded as she grasped her phone, memories of earlier that day coming back to mind.

How she had gripped it tight, simply watching as the string of numbers lit up the screen before it went black once more. She supposed she should have started to expect it. The call came at different times and days each week, but always without fail. It had been for the past five months. And yet all she knew to expect was the anger and exhaustion and, sometimes, sadness that flooded her for those few moments until it stopped ringing. It was the reason she had stuffed it into her purse earlier.

There were never any voicemails. Most of the time she was glad for that, but every so often, like now, she wondered what her mother wanted to say. If it would be an apology or just another attempt to excuse herself from what she had done. Her guess would have been the latter.

She found her car and the engine hummed as it turned over, mimicking the steady thrum of her own thoughts as all of the last few months washed over her. All of the surprises and disappointments that had come because of her mother. How it had broken them down but built them even stronger.

She and Jane had both been surprised after Constance's arrest. After they heard she admitted to illegally putting Elle up for adoption and to the bribery and blackmail. After she admitted to it all. It was nothing like the fight they had been preparing for. Something ugly and long and drawn out. Because Constance Isles had never been one to back down, especially when she felt she had done no wrong.

But she supposed it was another thing she should have expected. A trial would have meant more press and more negative stories that dragged her prestigious name through the mud. Image meant everything to her mother. It always had and Maura knew it always would be her main priority.

So was self-perseverance. And Maura's hands tightened involuntarily around the steering wheel, knuckles turning white, as her thoughts moved to Constance's sentence. Because even with all the evidence against her, her mother had still somehow managed to get a deal. One she and Jane hadn't been privy to the details, but that gave her significantly less time than they both knew she deserved.

Maura took a deep breath as she pushed it all to the back of her mind. She glanced at the clock. 8:37pm. It was so much later than she thought. She shook her head at how much her life had changed. A year and a half ago she would have loved staying at work this late. It meant less time in an empty house. But now, an ache settled in her chest as she thought about the little things she had certainly missed at home.

It was Tuesday. Which meant Elle had music class and had most certainly driven Jane mad with a terrible plastic recorder rendition of hot cross buns. She knew she missed dinner as well. Pasta night since Jane had off. And there were so many other things she wished she had been home earlier for. Jokes and giggles and slurping of noodles. Moments that might fade from memory but made her life full.

So she was surprised when she finally walked through the door to find Elle curled on the couch, but still very much awake. Her first instinct was that she must be sick, but it was quickly washed away a second later as Elle scrambled from her spot and raced towards her.

"Mom! You're finally back," she shrieked as she ran the short distance between them, wrapping her arms tight around Maura's waist.

And although slightly taken aback in surprise, Maura was quick to finagle her bags to squeeze Elle back and bend down to press a kiss to the top of her head. Her smile grew warm and wide. She never tired of the feeling. Of knowing there were two people that looked forward to her coming home each day.

"I'm happy you're home," Elle added as she pulled back.

"Well when I get big hugs like that I'm happy I'm home too. But you have school tomorrow, what are you still doing up sweetheart?"

"Ma said I could stay up until you got home."

"She did?" Elle nodded, just a moment before a deep yawn replaced the excitement that had been plastered to her face since Maura had walked in. "And why is that?"

"Because she has a present for you."

"Really? A present for me?" Maura asked as they began to move out of the entry, placing her bags down once they found themselves at the kitchen island.

"Yeah. And she said I could stay up to watch you open it." The giddy in her voice was enough to make Maura want to just scoop her daughter up into the biggest hug and never let go. But she simply smiled instead as Elle pushed the wrapped gift across the counter closer to Maura.

"What's this for?" she asked, genuinely confused. Her mind raced through all of the special occasions she could think of. Anniversaries, birthdays, holidays. And yet she came up with nothing.

Elle gave an enthusiastic shrug. Her face was beaming with pure joy. A small glimmer of mischief in her eye.

"Well," Maura started, taking the heavier-than-it-looked present in her hands. "Since it's from your mom maybe we should wait until she's out here with us."

Elle's eyes shot down the hall. That glimmer gone, replaced almost instantly with panic due to the small detour from the plan Maura's words were threatening. But almost as if she could sense it, Jane yelled back from the other room.

"That's okay Maur, go ahead and start without me. I'll be there in a few seconds."

Maura glanced down the hall and then back to Elle, who nodded encouragingly in agreement. And if she didn't know something was up before, she knew that very second.

She gave the gift a small shake. "Do you know what it is?" she asked Elle.

"No," came Elle's reply. Her curling smile betrayed her attempt to keep a straight face.

"You get your terrible ability to lie from me," she joked, pressing a kiss to her daughters head. "Alright, well let's see what this mystery gift is, shall we?"

"Yeah. But you have to stand like this." Elle repositioned her so her back was to the hall. So she couldn't see anything, or anyone, behind her. "Okay, now you can open it."

With a loving smile, and a control that had never been seen in the Rizzoli house, Maura tore the paper away neatly and agonizingly slow. The warmth that had been building in her chest spread across the rest of her body, flooding her eyes with happy tears as she scanned the gift over and over. Her free hand, shaky and trembling, moved slowly to her mouth but did nothing to conceal the smile that filled her entire face.

She let her fingers ghost over the glass, lingering above the names and pictures. A simple drawing of their family tree, just the three of them. The title had her heart bursting: The Rizzoli-Isles Family. But it was the large question mark outlined by a shaky and lopsided read heart sitting just above the line that connected her and Jane that had her feeling as though she was soaring. Without words, asking the one question she hadn't been certain would ever come before she met Jane. Before she and Elle became her world.

"Maur?"

Maura swiveled quickly around, the tears in her eyes blurring her vision, throwing her balance off so slightly. Jane threw out her arm to catch her around her waist, pulling her close. And though close enough to share the same air, neither of them could breathe for a few moments.

Jane's face broke into a soft smile. Bubbling at the sight of Maura's excited hopefulness as it all settled in. Maura's gaze bounced down to the hand that wasn't holding her tight and all the air in her lungs escaped at the sight of the small, black velvet box clutched in shaky fingers. And when she looked back up, she melted at the nervous joy pouring out of Jane.

She inched even closer, her hand finding Jane's bicep and she gave a little squeeze. Jane sucked in a quick breath, just enough to settle the flurry of butterflies suddenly in her stomach.

"I've been thinking a lot about moments lately. Big ones, small ones. Everything that's gotten us to this point right here."

Jane dropped her gaze, moving her hand from the small of Maura's back and interlacing their fingers. She ran her thumb over the back of Maura's hand like she had so many times before, but even so, Maura stopped breathing until Jane stopped and looked back up.

"Growing up I never believed in fate. I didn't like the idea that, perhaps, certain things were always meant to be no matter what. But after Elle and you and this little family we've put together against everything that's been thrown at us, is there any other explanation?"

She gave Maura a gentle squeeze, pausing just a moment to collect all the thoughts that were threatening to sprint away, they all seemed to be moving so fast.

"Do you remember when we first met?" Maura nodded. Jane smiled, recalling how bristly she'd been in those first few moments, but she couldn't recall too much more than that. She gave a small laugh before continuing. "Sometimes I wish I had known back then that this is where would be. Because then I'd have tried to memorize every second of that moment. The same with that first lunch the three of us had that bordered on the line of an embarrassing disaster. Or after we 'helped' you move into your house. All of those little things I didn't quite notice that were moving us to this point.

"But then other times I'm glad those little moments stayed small, because if they hadn't, well I think I would have possibly missed the moment that I did know we were meant to be."

Maura tilted her head ever so slightly. Jane had never shared this with her and so she hung to every word.

"That evening at Elle's school was that moment," Jane continued. "It was somehow so ordinary and normal, but there was this magic, because… because of you. I can remember every little detail as I watched you and Elle on that swing. Because it was then that I knew. That I knew I was falling in love with you. That I knew you were the person I wanted in our lives forever. That I knew the three of us were always meant to be this family right here."

Maura gave a quick swipe under her eyes, keeping stray tears from falling further down her cheeks. Because that night had been special to her as well. It had been the first time in a long time she felt she belonged somewhere. And now it made this moment all the more meaningful.

"Maybe it is fate that brought us together, I'm not sure. But I know one for certain, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you so much. More than I can say. So, Maura Dorothea Isles, would you make me..."

"And me," Elle chimed in, earning the warmest of smiles from them both.

"... would you make us the two happiest people in the world and agree to marry me?"

She managed to flip the box open with one hand, revealing the elegant diamond engagement ring. Maura stayed silent and still, stunned for the first second her eyes fall on it, but as she looked up, finding Jane's watery eyes, she instantly began to nod.

"Yes," she breathed out.

"Yeah?"

Maura nodded, her grin breaking into the most gorgeous smile Jane had ever seen. "I would love to marry you."

She felt as though she might burst, but instead Jane dipped down, their lips meeting in a kiss that held more than any kiss before it. Carrying promises and hopes for their future as they roamed over now memorized lips. Maura slipped her hand free and wrapped her arms around Jane's neck to pull her closer. They pulled apart, foreheads resting against one another. Identical smiles filling their faces. Everything had fallen away until a little tug pulled them back.

"Wait," Elle grabbed gently for Jane's arm. "Ma, you have to put this on Mom's finger first." She gestured at the ring.

"Of course," Jane agreed. The nerves now gone, though her head still felt as though it were spinning, she plucked it from the box with sure hands and gently slid it on Maura's finger.

"It's perfect," Maura whispered.

The corny response "just like you" found its way to the tip of Jane's tongue, but before it slipped out, Elle excitedly started.

"Do I get to be the flower girl?"

They both let out light laughs. Maura leaned so slightly into Jane's side.

"I think that sounds like a wonderful idea," Maura replied.

Elle nodded, folding herself into Maura's side. "But for both of you. Okay?"

"Sure, bug."

Elle shifted, taking Maura's fingers in her own as she looked closely at the ring. The moment was perfect. Everything they all wanted. And both Jane and Maura knew they could have stayed that way forever if the world allowed them. But after a moment longer, Elle's eyes widened in realization and she raced down the hall.

"I'll be right back."

Maura and Jane both laughed lightly as they watched Elle scurried out of sight. Jane pressed a kiss to the top of Maura's head, mumbling a few 'I love you' s into her hair. Maura pushed back slightly, just enough to look up and meet her eyes, her hand resting lightly over Jane's collarbone. And again, she couldn't help the fluttering that filled her stomach when her eyes fell to the ring. Onto the promise she knew would last a lifetime.

As she stared a little longer the cloud of excitement cleared just long enough for other thoughts to find their way back to her mind. And with her eyes on the ring, she took a sharp breath in as her own plan, her own promising words she hoped to say, came rushing in.

"Jane, there's something I want…" she started, but was quickly cut off as Elle pattered back down from where she raced off to. Jane's cell phone was held to her ear.

"Nona, I'm telling the truth. My moms are getting married." Elle quickly pulled the phone from her ear, looking up at the both of them. "She's yelling."

"I hope you didn't want a quiet engagement," Jane jokingly whispered into Maura's ear. Maura gave a playful swat to her side in return.

They continued to watch as Elle nodded a couple of times at whatever Angela was telling her. Both of them could only imagine the rambling on the other end of the phone. And then Elle gasped, her eyes growing as wide as saucers. Elle's next words tumbled out with so much excitement they practically all ran together.

"She says she better get more grandkids soon. Does that mean I'm gonna get a brother or sister? Oh please, please, please!"

Jane snatched the phone from Elle, her cheeks and ears suddenly rosy. Maura couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped. "Bye Ma, we'll call you later."

She stuffed the phone in her back pocked and scooped Elle up, sitting her on the counter. Elle's smile still hopeful and big at the idea of being an older sister. And a flower girl. And because of the item that secretly rested in her pocket.

"So Miss Thing, is that all you ran back there for? To call your Nona?"

"No. She called your phone and I answered," she replied with a little shrug. "I went to get this because I thought you and Mom should match."

Elle dug into her pocket, pulling her hand out in a clenched fist. And, as if for dramatic effect, unfurled her fingers slowly until the ring sat visible in her palm. A rose gold band. Simple. Elegant. Perfect.

Maura's mouth opened and closed a couple of times, but found no words. Jane's brown furrowed for a few seconds as her mind raced to absorb what was unfolding before her. Elle held the ring out towards her, but Jane, frozen in shock, made no move to take it. Elle turned to Maura, slightly confused.

"This is for Ma, right?"

Maura cleared the thickness from her throat. "Yes. Yes it is."

She took the ring from Elle. Her fingers now mimicking Jane's from moments before, shaky with nerves and excitement. Maura took Jane's hand in hers and they found each other's gaze. Jane's eyes glassy once again. Some of it old, from minutes earlier when Maura accepted her proposal. Most of it new, in complete disbelief at how unexpectedly more perfect the moment had become.

She gave her head a little shake and Maura took the disbelief induced silence to start.

"Everything you just said about finding each other and becoming a family and all the moments in between, those words were exactly what I had planned to tell you when I gave you this. I have been falling in love with you more and more with each little moment and sometimes I can't help but think there is any way my love for you could grow larger. But then you do something and it does and I want that for the rest of our lives.

"You and Elle," she gave a little poke to Elle's side as she said her name, earning a small giggle. "The both of you mean everything to me. And I know I already accepted your proposal, but I really want to ask… will you marry me, Jane?"

"I want nothing more," Jane replied with the biggest smile.

Maura slipped the ring on Jane's finger. Elle squealed, high pitched and giddy, before slipping off the counter. She pulled their left hands next to each other and let out something that could only be described as a content sigh.

"I'm going to go to bed now," she said, not usually one to go willingly, she surprised them both with her words. And as if sensing their confusion, Elle continued. "Because then it will be tomorrow quicker and I'm going to tell my teachers and my friends and TJ that my moms are getting married and I'm going to be the flower girl and I'm going to get a brother or sister."

And before either of them could say anything, she raced off down the hall as quickly as her words had fallen from her mouth.

After a few seconds of continued silence, certain Elle wasn't going to come racing back out, Jane and Maura turned to each other. Each of them winding their arms around the other's back, pulling themselves close as Maura rested her head on Jane's chest. They swayed a couple of times in the quiet before Jane spoke up.

"You know the wedding and sibling thing is all she's going to talk about for the foreseeable future."

Maura nodded against her, a soft grin spread over her face. "I know."

"Same for my Ma. Especially about the kid thing. Like she's probably never going to stop asking for more grandkids."

"I realize that, too."

She pulled back a little so they could look at one another. And the look Jane gave her, she didn't think she'd ever been so loved. Eyes tender and soft. It was enough to make her melt right there.

From the corner of her own eyes she caught a glimpse of the frame that started the entire evening. Their small family, just the three of them. But her grin grew with a comforting and familiar warmth as she pictured it expanding. The idea of adding more little faces felt like enough to make her burst.

Jane noticed her mind drifting. "What?"

"Just thinking about how I get to spend the rest of my life with you and Elle and anyone else that comes along."

Jane pressed a kiss to her head. Maura squeezed her close.

"I love you, Maura."

"I love you, too, Jane."

And as they lingered a little more, wrapped in their bubble of bliss, Maura marveled at how something that had once been lost could find its way back to her better than she could have ever imagined.

* * *

That's it folks. We reached the end (for now anyways). I hope you've enjoyed the journey. I just want to thank you all for your support and kind words along the way. I've got some other ideas rolling around, so hopefully I'll see you all soon!


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